Addictions and victimization

Addictions. How do we avoid them? How do we help our children to avoid them?

Addictions rob us. Rob us of using the gifts God has given us. Rob us financially, physically, psychologically and spiritually.

Parents are role models. The best gift we can give our children is to show them what can be accomplished by avoiding addictions, by relying on the gifts God has given each of us, by not ceding our power to an addiction, and by refusing to be victims of those who would profit by our addictions.

Males and females seem to be vulnerable to different addictions in our culture, although persons of either gender can be addicted to the same things.

Males start with caffeine and nicotine addictions. Many young males in rural Colorado get addicted to smokeless tobacco, while their counterparts in the cities and suburbs become addicted to cigarettes. Drinks like Monster and Red Bull supply the addictions to caffeine.

In their older teen years, frustrated that they cannot seem to attract the attention of the girls they most desire, many males add porn addictions to the ones listed above, and many females dress the part.

Next come alcohol and/or pot.

Females seem more prone to eating addictions. Someone tells them they fall short in some aspect of physical appearance. So they overcompensate by eating too much or too little, or by eating foods with little or no nutritious value to give themselves comfort. Look at the "women's" magazines at the supermarket. Their front pages are chocked full every week with food-related stories, and they are the best-selling magazines, next to People.

Our daughter Sara, who has a beautiful singing voice, and loves to sing, chose not to take the choir elective at school because one of the "popular" girls told her she had a lousy singing voice. The same "popular" girls also make fun of her hair and facial features like her lips or nose, because she is one of the few African American kids in the school.

Psychological issues often accompany these addictions, like depression, poor self esteem, and taking the easy way out by getting faux personal power from having a "poor me," "look how I got victimized today" attitude. Another easy way out, of course, is to just give in to an addiction and not try to rely on one's own God-given gifts.

How do we give our children the gift of believing in their own unique, God-given talents?

By standing up against those who perpetuate the cultural myths, or standing up to school officials who turn their heads while the popular girls or boys get in their digs against peers.

By encouraging our children to discover, develop and believe in their God-given gifts, and not to get their power by being victims, but by being people of accomplishment.

By not succumbing to addictions as we live our own lives.

And, most importantly, by helping our children develop beliefs and faith in a loving God who created them with unique gifts. Long after we are gone, our children can rely on their faith and belief in a loving God.

What are your thoughts on this subject? What have I missed? What aspects would you choose to emphasize?

As Ann Voskamp wrote last November,

We want clarity — and God gives a call. We want a road map — and God gives a relationship. We want answers — and God gives His hand.

Read more here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/11/how-to-not-miss-your-real-life-calling/