Sad

Better hurry, Al!

The satirical Babylon Bee has a breaking story from Florida.

FLORIDA—As Florida finally wrapped up its contentious recount of the votes tallied in the recent midterm elections, a winner was finally declared: Al Gore is now the president of the United States.

The recount process at long last found the "missing votes" that would have handed Gore the presidency back in 2000, making him the official president of the country.

"Well, it's about time," Gore said in his acceptance speech. "Thanks to all the fine people that made this happen. It really is too bad that the earth is going to be destroyed by fire by 2015--err, I mean, 2019, or else I could really savor my presidency."

Gore will be granted two terms as US president, ousting President Trump and canceling the 2020 election. "We just assume he would have won again and ushered in a liberal golden age," said an election official. "So he's got 8 years to reclaim his lost time. Make the most of it, Al, and great job. You deserve it!"

A direct correlation between the destruction of the Earth and Al Gore's profit margins.

The satirical Babylon Bee reports,

SAN FRANSISCO, CA—Al Gore spoke at the Global Action Climate Summit in San Fransisco on Sunday and he didn’t parse words. “This world is headed for a global catastrophe of apocalyptic proportions if everyone doesn’t drop all other priorities and redirect all spending toward buying my books and seeing my movies,” Gore said.

“I am not messing around,” he added. “I am super serious.”

Gore went on to present numerous charts and graphs showing a direct correlation between the destruction of the Earth and his profit margins.

“Science deniers can scoff all they want,” he said while aiming a laser pointer at a chart showing his prediction that the Earth will end within five years if his new book does not make the top of the New York Times Bestseller List. “And even that could be too little too late,” Gore said. “To really guarantee that this environmental apocalypse doesn’t happen, my books need to outsell the Bible.”

Stay there, Al

Bargain basement

hat tip Bookworm

Global warming

Al Jazeera shutting down their U.S. cable t.v. business

Al Jazeera, the Qatar-based cable t.v. network that slandered Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning recently, has announced that they are ending operations in the U.S. in April. You know Al Jazeera, they bought their cable t.v. rights from shyster Al Gore. I hope Peyton goes ahead and sues them anyway. They plan to be an on-line presence in the U.S. after they shut down their cable operations.
Read more here.

Former staffer for both Clinton and Gore was in charge of CNBC debate team

The PC Graveyard writes,

Well, well well. Imagine that. Brian Steel, senior vice president of communications at CNBC. He was the executive on hand. He is a former Clinton White House staffer, who held three positions under Bill Clinton. He was a domestic policy adviser to Vice President Al Gore, he served as Deputy Assistant Attorney General for Policy Development and associate director of the department’s Office of Public Affairs. Isn’t that a coinkidink? Hey!!! I just realized, Bill Clinton’s wife is running for president isn’t she?

So a former staffer for Hillary Clinton’s husband was in charge of a debate in which moderators asked questions like “Aren’t you running a comic campaign, Donald Trump?” and “Can you do math, Ben Carson?” and …well, you get the idea. Steel said that he was in charge of planning the event and revving up publicity for the event. Wouldn’t choosing the moderators be part of the planning of the event? That might explain why a debate on the economy didn’t pick Jim Cramer or Rick Santelli to be the main moderators, since they are the biggest stars with the most knowledge of the subject at hand.

...For his part, Steel claims the questions weren’t improper, just tough. The last laugh could be on him. NBC can’t afford not to have any republican candidates appear on their shows, especially since they have three stations. They may be forced to sacrifice him and keep the three moderators out of future debates.

Read more here.

h/t Clarice Feldman

Of hypocrites, globull warming, and El Nino

James Taylor reports at Heartland Institute,

One of the benefits of federalism is citizens can vote with their feet in choosing a state whose governance matches their world view. One of the benefits for Al Gore earning countless millions of dollars selling global warming alarm is Gore’s ability to buy property anywhere, and vote on what is and isn’t an imminent environmental crisis based on his real estate selection.

Al Gore may tell gullible followers that rising sea level threatens to swamp global coastlines, but his recent purchase of an $8 million oceanfront mansion in tony Montecito, California, tells another story altogether. Prudent property investors do not purchase multi-million dollar oceanfront mansions if they truly expect them to be underwater soon.

But Gore’s choice of oceanfront property is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. According to the Montecito Journal, Gore’s new mansion sprawls over 1.5 acres (“we all need to reduce our ecological footprint”); contains fountains, a spa, and a swimming pool (even though Southern California is water starved, and alarmists tell us global warming will cause more severe drought and water restrictions); and contains six – count them, six – fireplaces (because burning carbon-intensive wood in only five fire places at once simply won’t do when entertaining Hollywood friends).

Read more here.

Marc Morano reports at Climate Depot that there has been no global warming at all for 18 years, 8 months. However,

As ever, a warning about the current el Niño. It is becoming ever more likely that the temperature increase that usually accompanies an el Niño will begin to shorten the Pause somewhat, just in time for the Paris climate summit, though a subsequent La Niña would be likely to bring about a resumption and perhaps even a lengthening of the Pause.

The spike in global temperatures caused by the thermohaline circulation carrying the warmer waters from the tropical Pacific all around the world usually occurs in the northern-hemisphere winter during an el Niño year.

However, the year or two after an el Niño usually – but not always – brings an offsetting la Niña, cooling first the ocean surface and then the air temperature and restoring global temperature to normal.

Read more here.

Be prepared for a wet winter.

“They’re getting the old gang together,”

You thought the Democrats could do no worse than Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders? Think again.

The Orwellian engine of groupthink

Victor Davis Hanson notes that

While the government in theory still operates according to the checks and balances of the Constitution, in reality, in the hyped Internet world of modern pop culture, fevered passions can seize the majority of the population in a matter of hours.

The idea of gay marriage in 2008 earned unapologetic disapproval from Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. The liberal voters of California twice rejected the idea in statewide plebiscites. But after years of constant harangues in the media, boycotts, public ostracisms, and ad hominem attacks on the integrity of skeptics, the liberal political establishment — many of whose members are recipients of large amounts of cash from wealthy gay donors — suddenly flipped.

...Think of the contradictions that have already arisen from the mob frenzy. One cannot today buy Confederate flags online, but one can easily purchase Nazi insignia of the sort that flew over Auschwitz or the hammer-and-sickle Communist banner that represented the Great Famine, forced collectivization, and various cultural revolutions that led to 100 million slaughtered or starved to death in the 20th century.

Present politics mostly define the degree of past sin and the appropriate punishments, as the revolutionary mob decides in an instant which particular historical figure deserves the most immediate ostracism and should be Trotskyized from our collective memory. Should we now remove the racist Andrew Jackson from the $20 bill? Even in my small town in central California there are schools named Jackson and Wilson. Apparently our Depression-era educators thought that the one Democratic president was a populist reformer, the other an idealistic internationalist. Yet both were abject racists, at least as we understand the charge today. In fact, no president of the 20th century disliked blacks in general and integration in particular as much as the Southern segregationist Woodrow Wilson, although he adroitly cloaked his racial hatred with a thin veneer of liberal academic respectability as president of Princeton University and author of several progressive tracts.

The writings and speeches of Margaret Sanger, founder of what evolved into Planned Parenthood, trumped the biases of Wilson. Her progressive version of eugenics fueled much of her family-planning agenda. She saw reproductive rights as inseparable from discouraging the supposedly less gifted (in her view, mostly non-whites) from having lots of children.

Should Al Gore give one of his trademark teary public confessions and, in vein-bulging angst, apologize to blacks for misrepresenting his senator father’s racist votes against civil-rights legislation? Should Bill Clinton join Gore on the podium to feel our pain and say he is sorry that regional Clinton–Gore campaign affiliates often plastered “Clinton–Gore ’92” on the Confederate battle flag in an effort to get out the supposed redneck vote? Will Hillary Clinton join in too and apologize for her 2008 declaration — delivered during her heated, racialized primary struggle with Barack Obama — that the polls showed “how Sen. Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states [Indiana and North Carolina, where primaries had just been held] who had not completed college were supporting me.”

Planned Parenthood is as likely to disown its progenitor as Princeton University is to change the name of the Wilson School of Public and International Affairs — and as the Clintons are to publicly repent for their past appeals to blue-collar whites. Apparently, on the one hand, we must understand that there are inveterate haters and symbols of unrepentant racism that should be excised from the body politic, and, on the other hand, there remain well-meaning progressives of the past, who were unfortunately captives of their times and said or wrote things (often spoken in the heat of passion, or taken out of context today) that they did not quite mean. The record of the latter group, according to modern liberal tastes, is unfortunate — but is fortunately overshadowed by their greater liberal accomplishments. Consequently, the mass hysteria against anything that reeks of past racism will be carefully steered clear of monuments honoring the pro-segregationist J. William Fulbright or former Klan leader Robert Byrd, or other liberal heroes like the racist states’-righter but Watergate icon Senator Sam Ervin, who, 20 years before Watergate, authored “The Southern Manifesto,” which encouraged opposition to the desegregation of schools.

There will be no liberal watchdog or enlightened corporation that goes after the federally funded National Council of La Raza for its racist nomenclature, which can be traced back toFranco and Mussolini. We cannot properly damn the liberal Earl Warren or the progressive McClatchy newspapers for their 1941 racial rah-rahing that helped convince the progressive Roosevelt administration to implement the Japanese internment.

He’s someone who knows he’s right about everything and never tires of explaining why

Since Hillary Clinton seems to be having some credibility issues, Democrats are looking around to see if they have anyone else to put forward for 2016. Vox's Ezra Klein comes to the rescue, touting someone named Al Gore. James Taranto succinctly offers an appraisal:

He’s someone who knows he’s right about everything and never tires of explaining why. He wouldn’t be the first president to fit that description, but Barack Obama was young and cool.

Read more here.

You don't need that car

Michael Bastach reports on a proposal from Al Gore that is as absurd as anything I have heard recently. Gore and former Mexican President Calderon are in Davos, Switzerland

pushing for $90 trillion in spending to ban cars from every major city in the world and make them more dense.

Gore and Calderon presented a report from the Global Commission on the Economy & Climate (GCEC) and argued that fighting global warming will require making cities more compact and wholly reliant on public transit.

Calderon and Gore made their presentation at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland where, ironically (or maybe not, at this point), some 1,700 private jets — which use petroleum — were used to shuttle in conference participants and others to discuss global warming and other pressing global issues.

Read more here.

Time for a national policy on hypocrisy!

As I write this today it is 11 a.m. and -4 degrees outside. I am very fortunate to get this day off. Although I had planned to go to the gym and get a good workout, including both strength training and aerobics, I might decide to stay inside and use my own exercise equipment!

Oh, and by the way, fat Al Gore has moved on from globull warming, since our planet has not warmed in the last seventeen years, and now fat Al wants to regulate what we eat. He tweeted that it's time for a national policy on food. Rep. Steve Smith tweeted: It's time for a national policy on hypocrisy!

Exemptions, useful pretensions, smart career moves: the joke is on us.

Liberals really should just give up. There is one person who does not miss any of their hypocrisies. Victor Davis Hanson takes a look at just how it is that "dudes" like Tommy Vietor and Ben Rhodes got qualified to be in the Situation Room during Obama Administration crises. He also takes a look at the Steyer brothers and Al Gore,

For them, 21st-century liberalism is a useful badge, a fashion not unlike wearing good shades or having the right sort of cell phone.

And then there is Elizabeth Warren, whose

life is about as much a part of the 99.9 percent as she is Native American. She is not worried about welders getting some work on the Keystone Pipeline or farmworkers put out of their jobs in Mendota, Calif., over a baitfish.

Let's not forget Paul Krugman, who is probably not

going to study the inequality inherent in the modern university’s exploitation of part-time teachers.

And what about Donald Sterling's embrace by the NAACP?

Sterling apparently thought that supporting the local NAACP either was not antithetical to his racist sloppy talk and rental practices, or was a wise investment in progressive insurance.

Al Sharpton?

Al Sharpton receiving a “person of the year” award from the same branch of the NAACP is no less absurd than Donald Sterling’s “lifetime-achievement award” — given that Sharpton is on record as an anti-Semite, homophobe, inciter of riot, former FBI informant, tax delinquent, and convicted defamer of a district attorney.

And, what about the NAACP itself?

the NAACP brand nowadays functions much like our green culture, as a sort of way to display correct coolness. It surely would not go after Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonya Sotomayor — or Barack Obama — for either using racialist speech or denigrating others on the basis of race or tribe. Such a fact is widely accepted because it is just as widely assumed that the NAACP has become something fossilized, like Betamax in its waning days, as it existed for a bit longer because it had once thrived.

Concern for the Sierra toad and frog should stop logging-road and mountain development, but incinerating fauna with solar mirrors or grinding up eagles and hawks in wind turbines is the necessary price of green membership.

Affirmative action is necessary to stop “old boy” hiring and power wielding, but the sort of incestuous D.C. relationships that the Carneys or the Rhodes brothers have (Jay Carney’s wife, Claire Shipman, is a senior correspondent for ABC News; Ben Rhodes’s brother, David, is the president of CBS News) are not what we are talking about.

No prominent progressive really believes that his children belong in a public school with the “other.” He does not wish to live in an integrated neighborhood in order to promote his notion of high-density, non-suburban racial assimilation. A Che poster does not mean you want to live somewhere like Venezuela and wait in line for toilet paper.

The liberal is not immune from the material allurements of the 1 percent. Whizzing off on a private jet or climbing into a huge black ten-mile-a-gallon SUV limo is no problem. You do not necessarily denounce all racist stereotyping, given that sometimes attacking friendly bigots could be a headache. Taking the Google bus with like kind instead of the messy public bus or the uncertainties of the commuter train does not mean you are against mass transit for “them.” You surely don’t want the Coastal Commission enforcing beach-access rights for hoi polloi when who knows how many of the 99 percent wish to walk right by your deck in Malibu. It would be like ruining your beach view with a wind farm.

Liberalism offers a wise investment for a politician, a celebrity, an academic, or a journalist, by letting him take out inexpensive insurance against a politically incorrect slip of the tongue.

The joke is on us. Having lots of stuff and lots of money, while deriding the system that provides it, is perverse, but perverse in a postmodern sense: You fools love the free market, where you didn’t do too well; we whose parents or selves did very well in it don’t like it all that much. How postmodern — like guffawing that lots of smoke came out of that Gulfstream ride, or lecturing about inequality from Rancho Mirage or the back nine at Augusta.

Liberalism professes a leftwing ideology, but these days it has absolutely no effect on the lives of those who most vehemently embrace it. In other words, being liberal is professionally useful and psychologically better than Xanax, but we need not assume any more that it is a serious belief.

Please read more here.

Climate denial = Holocaust denial

John Kerry vented his spleen on climate change the other day. Brett Stephens writes,

It is now the dogma of the left that any hint of doubt when it comes to predictions of climate doom is evidence of greed, stupidity, moral turpitude or psychological derangement. "Climate denial" is intended to be the equivalent of Holocaust denial. And yet the only people who've predicted anything right so far are those who foresaw that the Kyoto Protocol would fail, that renewable energies didn't really work, and that climate bureaucrats accountable to nobody but their own sense of virtue and taste for profit were a danger to everyone.

Read more here.

How cold is it?

How cold is it? Even Al Gore is cold!



found at Doug Ross @ Journal.

Al Gore: In the top one percent of carbon footprints

I am glad to see that Scott Ott has revved up his writing production at Scrappleface. Today he has the scoop on Al Gore's decision to become a vegan:

Former Vice President Al Gore’s decision to become a vegan because of the impact of meat production on global climate change has apparently worked, according to scientists at the University of East Anglia in the United Kingdom.

“Recently, we have observed massive growth of Antarctic sea ice,” said an unnamed climate researcher, “and the decades-long warming trend has stalled, or perhaps reversed itself. Until now, we assumed these were part of ordinary solar or jetstream cycles, but the news that Al Gore has stopped eating meat fully accounts for these observational phenomena.”

Although his switch to a vegan diet has halted the global warming trend, Mr. Gore acknowledges that giving up meat has been difficult, “like an amputee experiences pain in a ghost limb.”

“The most important thing after quitting meat,” Gore said, “is to find something to do with your hands, which have become habitually accustomed to grasping cuts of beef, and other sorts of rich, tender, succulent animal flesh.”

The Oscar, Nobel and Grammy-winning author and film-maker said his personal suffering is “all worth it, now that I know that I’ve actually saved Mother Earth, and that this isn’t just an empty gesture by a guy whose mansions, limos and jet travel still ranks me in the top one percent of carbon footprints on earth.”