The journey from acting helpless to being helpless is a short one.

R.L. Maizes writes in the Washington Post,

...I don’t believe there’s much a man can do that a woman can’t. So why let Steve do everything? The answer is that I enjoy being taken care of, and even more, the love it expresses. And yet I miss feeling competent. It seems no sooner did I say, “I do,” than my psyche started saying, “I don’t.” I don’t fix things. I don’t build things. I don’t get us where we’re going. Without meaning to, I began to embody the stereotype of the helpless female. A stereotype I hate.

In other ways, marriage has changed my identity for the better. I now feel part of a team, responsible to show up for Steve emotionally, financially and in many other ways. I lost flexibility — I won’t be teaching English in a foreign country or moving to a big city any time soon, though when I was single I entertained the thought of both — but gained stability. My roots here in Colorado, where we live and Steve has two sisters, have grown deeper. Because I value how we support each other and the stability of our life together, I’m not bothered by those changes.

Read more here.