She has had it rough!

Learning from Jussie

The Babylon Bee reports,

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a statement to D.C. police given Tuesday, senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren claimed that two men in colonial outfits accosted her on the street and assaulted her with smallpox-infected blankets.

Warren claimed she was simply on her evening walk with her favorite peyote blend when the two men leaped out of the bushes, fired a round, spent several minutes reloading their muzzle-loading rifles, fired again, and then hollered "battle cries" as they hurled smallpox-infested blankets at her.

"The men fired muskets at me, threw several blankets infested with smallpox in my general direction, and told me this was colonial country," she said, holding back tears. "They told me to go back to my reservation and that I wasn't welcome here."

According to Warren, the men stuck a feather in her hair and then called her "macaroni" before dancing around her in a mock Native American rain dance.

"It is just despicable to me that in 2019 a woman can still be targeted for lynching because of her .0001% Indian heritage," she said in a press conference. "This is Trump's America, people."

Police quickly poked holes in Warren's story, such as the fact that she never dropped her peace pipe throughout the ordeal and that she left the smallpox blankets and mock Indian headdress on herself as she walked to the police department to make her statement.

If she is fighting against them, why would they donate so much wampum to her?

Fake Indian Elizabeth Warren is raking in cash from Wall Street firms. Read about it here.

Playing the race card gets Senator Warren nowhere with Dr. King's niece

"My family are peacemakers, not dividers," says Alveda King, niece of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. "I was her correspondence secretary; Aunt Coretta was a very reasonable person. She is strongly implying that Sen. Liz Warren is a divider, who is playing the race card."

This doesn't fit her preferred narrative!

Senator Warren could have read this letter written by the son of the people Coretta Scott King wrote about. But his letter does not fit her preferred narrative, which is that Senator Sessions must surely be a racist.

I have known Senator Sessions for many years, beginning with the voter fraud case in Perry County in which my parents were defendants. My differences in policy and ideology with him do not translate to personal malice. He is not a racist. As I have said before, at no time then or now has Jeff Sessions said anything derogatory about my family. He was a prosecutor at the Federal level with a job to do. He was presented with evidence by a local District Attorney that he relied on, and his office presented the case. That’s what a prosecutor does. I believe him when he says that he was simply doing his job. I believe that he is someone with whom I, and others in the civil rights community can work if given the opportunity. I believe that he will listen, as he has in the past, to the concerns of my community. More than most I am very familiar with him. I believe he will be fair in his application of the law and the Constitution; as such I support his nomination to be the next Attorney General of the United States.

hat tip Alexandra Desanctis and Ace of Spades