Doing their bidding

Stanton E. Samenow writes in his book, Inside the Criminal Mind,

Rarely does the criminal speak of love. In fact, ...he seems incapable of real love or real attachment. ...the criminal chooses to view people only in terms of their use to him.

Although criminals differ in the crimes they find acceptable, they are carbon copies of one another in their view of themselves and the world. All are liars and hide behind a mask of secrecy. They have an inflated self-image in which they regard themselves as special and superior and assume that people will do their bidding.

People as Pawns

Since the subject matter is so unfortunate, I am just giving small pieces at a time in sharing wisdom and insight with you from Stanton Samenow's book Inside the Criminal Mind. When we left off we were talking about how the criminal uses people as pawns.

The criminal tries to dominate in every situation and resorts to any tactic to get his way. Anyone who evades his control reduces him in stature and thus is seen as a danger. Whenever others fail to do his bidding, the criminal's entire self-image is at stake. Criticism or interference with his plans constitutes a monumental threat because it signifies to him that he is not the omnipotent person he thinks he is. Instead of modifying his expectations and changing his behavior, he insists that it is others who err, not he. His pride is such that he adamantly refuses to acknowledge his fallibility. Unyielding, uncompromising, and unforgiving, his attitude is, "I'm going to hold my ground if it costs me everything," no matter how trivial the matter at hand.

Because the criminal's inflated view of himself is imperiled so many times in a single day, those who live and work with him are afraid for they never know what might set him off. When he angrily explodes, he is in effect announcing that he is somebody to be reckoned with. His anger might be thinly disguised in sullenness, silence, or feigned indifference. It may spurt forth in ridicule and sarcasm or erupt into screaming and cursing. Its most devastating form is physical violence.

Inside the Criminal Mind

Do you know someone who is committing crimes? If the person is close to you, such as a son or daughter, how do you deal with them? Stanton E. Samenow wrote a book in 1984 that is good as any I have read on the subject. It is called Inside the Criminal Mind. Here are a few quotes from the book's preface. Dr. Samenow became an associate of Dr. Samuel Yochelson in the program for the Investigation of Criminal Behavior at St. Elizabeth Hospital in Washington D.C.

Mental health professionals are ill-equipped to deal with criminals. Yochelson and Samenow developed a new approach based on the belief that criminals choose to commit crimes. Crime resides within the person and is "caused" by the way he thinks, not by his environment. What must change is how the offender views himself and the world. Criminals are not victims; they are victimizers who freely choose their way of life. Dr. Yochelson piloted a set of procedures that resulted in career criminals willingly changing their thinking so that they lived without injuring others and became responsible members of society.

The criminals discovered that effort, competence and reliability are usually rewarded and that they could accomplish worthwhile things without deception or intimidation.

The book is available now at Amazon for $13.95.

Inside the Criminal Mind

Dr. Stanton Samenow

In 1984 a man named Stanton E. Samenow wrote a book entitled Inside the Criminal Mind. He advocated holding criminals completely accountable for their crimes. If a criminal changes the way he thinks, he can learn to live a responsible life. Somebody must help the criminal learn to identify then abandon thinking patterns that have guided his behavior for years.

He must be taught new thinking patterns that are self-evident and automatic for responsible people but are totally foreign to him.

Parents need to know about the Samenow book as they attempt to raise responsible offspring.

Criminals know right from wrong. In fact, some know the laws better than their lawyers. But they believe that whatever they want to do at any given time is right for them.

Does your teenager portray himself as a victim?

Criminals claim they were rejected by parents,
schools, neighbors, and employers, but rarely does a criminal say why he was rejected. Even as a young child he was sneaky and defiant, and the older he grew, the more he lied to his parents, stole and destroyed their property, and threatened them. He made life at home unbearable as he turned even innocuous requests into a battleground. He conned his parents to get what he wanted, or else he wore them down through endless argument. It was the criminal who rejected his parents, rather than visa versa.

By portraying themselves as victims, they seek sympathy and hope to absolve themselves of culpability. As a child, the criminal shuts his parents out of his life, because he does not want them or anyone else to know what he is up to. ...No matter how hard they try, mothers and fathers cannot penetrate the secrecy, and they discover that they do not know their own child.

...Despite a multitude of differences in their backgrounds and crime patterns, criminals are alike in one way: how they think. ...All regard the world as a chessboard over which they have total control,
and they perceive people as pawns to be pushed around at will. ...Toward a few, they are sentimental but rarely considerate. Some of their most altruistic acts have sinister motives.

This book was written before young people had smartphones, which they now can use to shut parents out of their lives. I think the ability to portray themselves as victims is definitely key. When you see that happening, raise a red flag in your mind.

The parents become the first in the criminal's string of victims. Only it is not a one-time victimization. The emotional turmoil of seeing their child injure others and jeopardize himself is like a persistent searing pain. The parents interminable struggle to cope with this wayward youngster saps their energy, drains their finances, weakens their marriage, and harms their other children. But the criminal child remains unmoved and unaffected.

Instead of allowing your teen to criticize or blame others, make him look at himself. What did he do in the situation? Make him evaluate himself before criticizing others.