Washington Post hires ISIS PR marketing rep

From the satirical Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In order to ensure all headlines about Islamic terrorism are culturally sensitive and do not offend any brave freedom fighters in the Middle East, The Washington Post has retained an ISIS marketing representative.

All headlines published about terrorism will be run by the marketing rep. The PR rep was immediately put to work as headline writers worked to come up with a sensitive take on the death of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

"Do you think we should call him an extremist terrorist leader or is that considered
offensive?" one intern asked the representative, Aarif al-Samarrai, in a brainstorming session Sunday.

An angered Samarrai began firing his AK-47 into the air and screamed, "ALLAHU AKBAR!" at this suggestion, apparently not happy with the angle. Post writers frantically tried to come up with different headlines to appease him, such as the following:

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, mischevious rapscallion, passes away of entirely natural causes and definitely not a raid ordered by Trump. Also Trump is bad.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, noted firearm and explosive enthusiast, dies at 48.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, prophet of God and all-around swell guy, rewarded with 72 virgins.

Evil Americans kill innocent Middle Eastern farmer.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, austere religious scholar at helm of Islamic State, dies at 48

He was finally appeased with the last suggestion, and the Post was able to run it. "This should make everybody on the internet happy," said one writer, excited to see what Twitter's reaction would be.

Not even worth free?

This is the cover of the Washington Post's free Express newspaper today on its last day of publication. Read more here.

The Washington Post is sued for $250,000,000 by the Covington Kid

Here it comes, ladies and gentlemen: the first lawsit filed by the parents of Nick Sandmann. This one is against Jeff Bezos' Washington Post. There are 53 other defendents to come. His lawyer, Lin Wood, tells the truth in this filing.

2.In a span of three (3) days in January of this year commencing on January 19, the Post engaged in a modern-day form of McCarthyism by competing with CNN and NBC, among others, to claim leadership of a mainstream and social media mob of bullies which attacked, vilified, and threatened Nicholas Sandmann ("Nicholas"), an innocent secondary school child.

3.The Post wrongfully targeted and bullied Nicholas because he was the white, Catholic student wearing a red "Make America Great Again" souvenir cap on a school field trip to the January 18 March for Life in Washington, D.C.when he was unexpectedly and suddenly confronted by Nathan Phillips ("Phillips"), a known Native American activist, who beat a drum and sang loudly within inches of his face ("the January 18 incident").

4.Nicholas stood quietly and respectfully for several minutes after being targeted and bullied by Phillips and Nicholas’body language remained non-aggressive and passive throughout the incident.

...

7.In targeting and bullying Nicholas by falsely accusing him of instigating the January 18 incident, the Post conveyed that Nicholas engaged in acts of racism by "swarming" Phillips, "blocking" his exit away from the students,and otherwise engaging in racist misconduct.

8.The Post ignored basic journalist standards because it wanted to advance its well-known and easily documented, biased agenda against President Donald J. Trump("the President") by impugning individuals perceived to be supporters of the President.

9.As a 16-year old secondary school student, Nicholas' political beliefs are anything but established and entrenched in his young mind.

10.Nicholas has zero history of political activism or aggressiveness and did not exhibit any such conduct even when confronted with unbridled racist attacks by activist bullies at the National Mall.

11.The Post's campaign to target Nicholas in furtherance of its political agenda was carried out by using its vast financial resources to enter the bully pulpit
by publishing a series of false and defamatory print and online articles which effectively provided a worldwide megaphone to Phillips and other anti-Trump individuals and entities to smear a young boy who was in its view an acceptable casualty in their war against the President.

12.Unlike the Post's abuse of the profession of journalism, Plaintiffs do not bring this lawsuit to use the judicial system to further a political agenda. This lawsuit is brought against the Post to seek legal redress for its negligent, reckless, and malicious attacks on Nicholas which caused permanent damage to his life and reputation.

13.The Post bullied an innocent child with an absolute disregard for the pain and destruction its attacks would cause to his life.

14.The Post proved itself to be aloud and aggressive bully with a bully pulpit.

15.In this country, our society is dedicated to the protection of children regardless of the color of their skin, their religious beliefs,or the cap they wear.

16.But the Post did not care about protecting Nicholas. To the contrary, the Post raced with a reckless disregard of the facts and truth because in this day and time there is a premium for being the first and loudest media bully.

17.The Post wanted to lead the charge against this child because he was a pawn in its political war against its political adversary –a war so disconnected and beyond the comprehension of Nicholas that it might as well have been science fiction.

18.The Post must be dealt with the same way every bully is dealt with and that is hold the bully fully accountable for its wrongdoing in a manner which effectively deters the bully from again bullying other children. In a civil lawsuit, punishment and deterrence is found in awarding money damages to the victim and target of the bully.

19.In order to fully compensate Nicholas for his damages and to punish, deter,and teach the Post a lesson it will never forget, this action seeks money damages in excess of Two Hundred and Fifty Million Dollars ($250,000,000.00) --the amount Jeff Bezos, the world's richest person, paid in cash for the Post when his company, Nash Holdings, purchased the newspaper in 2013.

Read more here.

Unpacking a stupid lede

Oregon Muse responds:

Let's unpack this stupid lede:

"A viral story spread."
(Translation: we reported a bunch of lies and bullshit)

"The mainstream media rushed to keep up"
(Translation: When we started getting called out on our lies and bullshit, we doubled down on it)

"The Trump internet pounced."
(Translation: when it became obvious that our reporting was all lies and bullshit, we made ourselves out to be the victims)

And what, exactly, is "the Trump Internet", anyway? Is there some part of the internet that he owns, and where he can dictate what users can and cannot say?

A well-timed attack

Bookworm gives her reasons for being suspicious of the allegations against Juge Roy Moore.

1. The timing is suspect. Although Roy Moore has been a controversial figure in the public eye for forty years, this apocalyptic story was never even whispered about before. Instead, it hits now, right in the middle of the sexual harassment zeitgeist. More than that, though, although sexual harassment has been at the top of the news for weeks now, this unexpected narrative “coincidentally” erupted just when it was too late to remove Moore from the ballot and substitute another Republican candidate. In other words, rather than appearing to be a legitimate complaint, it appears to be a classic October surprise — even though it actually happened in November.

2. The story is almost forty years old. As I mentioned with regard to Trump and the stories about him, there is something of a pass for old acts. After all, that’s why we have a statute of limitations for most crimes other than murder: memories and, in the case, mores change. Even assuming solely for the sake of argument that the charges are true, the reality is that, back in 1979, we were in a very different moral cycle. In hippie territory, everyone was having free love, including young teens. And in deep South territory, people still weren’t that far away from Jerry Lee Lewis’s 13-year-old wife. While that 13 year old raised eyebrows, viewing young teens as viable wives or girlfriends wasn’t alien to Southern culture.

3. Paul Mirengoff, no friend of Moore, points out that the woman making the charges is apparently emotionally unstable. More than that, she has a habit of accusing men of sexually harassing her. Maybe they did, especially since she was a vulnerable, suicidal, teenage drug and alcohol addict — or maybe she’s a few cards short of a full deck. This is not a credible witness.

4. I simply don’t believe the WaPo’s reporting in this instance. As I mentioned above, the stories about Hollywood and other media are Progressive on Progressive attacks, so the political angle is absent. Here, however, we’ve seen for the past two years that the WaPo functions as the media arm of the Democrat Party (and, when necessary, of those in the GOP, such as McConnell, who are still fighting a rearguard battle against Trump and Trumpism). When a media outlet is that manifestly partisan, why in the world would people believe it when it publishes a well-timed attack (see point 1, above) to destroy the political opposition?

Read more here.

Why we should distrust the Washington Post

Have you read Judge Roy Moore's denial?

"I have never provided alcohol to minors, and I have never engaged in sexual misconduct. As a father of a daughter and a grandfather of five granddaughters, I condemn the actions of any man who engages in sexual misconduct not just against minors but against any woman. I also believe that any person who has been abused should feel the liberty to come forward and seek protection."

Don Surber explains here why we should distrust the Washington Post, which broke the story alleging sexual misconduct by Moore.

"This Will Win Me the Twitterz today headline with no evidence for the claims it makes."

Ace of Spades notices a trend whereby media stories exist purely to be linked based on their headlines.

It exists purely to be linked (by people who haven't read it) in a Twitter argument.

If I say "Leftwing violent goons are authoritarians who get off on violence," someone will link this article and just say "That's been like so totally debunked. See THIS LINK!!!"

Because the headline claims it's been debunked.

One of the worst offenders is the Washington Post, which Ace dubs "The National Laughingstock."

The National Laughingstock claims to have debunked this idea -- but hasn't. It's just written a linkable clicky This Will Win Me the Twitterz today headline with no evidence for the claims it makes.

Read more here.

Sinking lower and lower

How low will the Washington Post sink? Here is one of their latest headlines.

Alex Griswold comments at Twitter, asking if you think they would have printed that headline if the pastor were talking about Obama, instead of Trump.

More fake news

Ace of Spades reports the fake news authored by the Washington Post.

#FakeNews: Social Justice Warrior College Newspaper the Washington Post Breathlessly Reports RUSSKIES HACKED OUR POWER GRIDZ!!!
—Ace

Then, over a series of edits, none of which acknowledged itself as a formal correction, they walked the story back into... one computer -- a laptop not connected to the grid at all -- having some malware on it of a type that is routinely purchased online by anyone who wants it.

But tell us all about the Fake News, boys.

The college newspaper The Washington Post is refusing to answer questions about its fact-checking procedures, especially regarding the fact-checking of misleading, clickbait #FakeNews headlines.

Father figure?

The Washington Post has assigned a team of nine writers to cover the Bill Cosby sexual assault allegations. Can the Washington Post assign a team of writers to cover Benghazi, the IRS, or any of the dozens of other scandals of the Obama White House?

They interview one of Cosby's many attorneys, Martin Singer, who says:

“The new, never-before-heard claims from women who have come forward in the past two weeks with unsubstantiated, fantastical stories about things they say occurred 30, 40, or even 50 years ago have escalated far past the point of absurdity,” he said. “These brand new claims about alleged decades-old events are becoming increasingly ridiculous, and it is completely illogical that so many people would have said nothing, done nothing, and made no reports to law enforcement or asserted civil claims if they thought they had been assaulted over a span of so many years.

“Lawsuits are filed against people in the public eye every day. There has never been a shortage of lawyers willing to represent people with claims against rich, powerful men, so it makes no sense that not one of these new women who just came forward for the first time now ever asserted a legal claim back at the time they allege they had been sexually assaulted.

During an interview on Friday with Florida Today, Cosby said: “I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn’t have to answer to innuendos. People should fact-check. People shouldn’t have to go through that and shouldn’t answer to innuendos.”

The allegations represent a stunning reshaping of Cosby’s legacy. Cosby built his fame on a family-friendly comedic persona. He has lectured black youths about proper behavior. He has been honored with a Presidential Medal of Freedom and been lauded for making the largest donation ever by an African American to a historically black college, Spelman College in Atlanta.

Of course, another thing that is different now is the existence of social media, to which some of Cosby's accusers are telling their stories. What of Camille, Cosby's wife? After their son's murder and the revelation of a Bill Cosby affair in Las Vegas, Camille wrote in 1997:

“Bill and I were very young when we married; he was 26, I was 19. We had to mature, we had to learn the definition of unselfish love, and we did. When we committed to each other wholeheartedly years ago, our marriage became healthy and solid. Also, we blossomed as individuals. Our marriage encompasses mutual love, respect, trust and communication. Sound relationships must have positive reciprocity; they can’t be one-sided and strong.”

How many writers were assigned to dig up Barack Obama's history as he ran for President in 2008? The nine reporters on this Cosby story have gone back many decades to interview the women who say Cosby drugged them and raped them. Read more here.