Reading this morning's post entitled "The Wisdom of Over-Educated Fools and Holy Hucksters" over at One Cosmos, inspired me to write this post today about our son, Thomas.
Thomas will be 19 in August. He lives in an apartment with his best boyhood friend. Both boys (young men) work for the Kroger grocery chain, although in separate cities. In less than a year Thomas has risen to the point where he has been given responsibility this week to manage the general merchandise of this large store, while the manager goes on vacation. We are very proud of Thomas for working his way up from bagger to clerk to management in such a short time, while also going to college and getting good grades.
He has told us that he may want to suspend his college career next year while concentrating on his work. That is perfectly okay with us. We want him to make his own decisions, live his own life, and reap the rewards and consequences of those decisions and that life. Right now he is feeling pretty good about himself, because of what he has accomplished. We want him to continue to gain wisdom from working hard and doing a good job at work.
Interestingly, his grandparents don't agree with us. They want him in college full time at a big time university. They want him to be "educated" by the elitist liberals of academia. He is respected by the people he works with at the supermarket. He has little in common with the college students whose mommies and daddies are providing them with everything but truth. Grandpa is a new-ager. Both grandparents are heavily dependent on antidepressants for their happiness.
Thomas and his siblings were sexually abused by their biological father. Thomas participates in therapy weekly, and is completely sincere and dedicated to overcoming what that abuse did to his mind, and learning how to conduct himself properly in relationships. Thomas is so lucky that he has a mom who is so grounded in integrity and truth, and is, therefore, a person so utterly dependable and reliable for him.
7 comments:
Just my personal experience here but I finished college; my brother and sister hated it and didn't. Both make way more than me and we are all happy. Let Thomas do what Thomas is doing well. When that changes, he's young, he can change direction again.
I'm glad to hear he's doing so well, Bob. I seem to recall that last year there was a lot of uncertainty about his future. It sounds like he's a very responsible young man (unsurprising, with you as his father). I've found in my own life that demonstrating responsibility is the quickest way to move up the ladder when you're at the bottom, regardless of experience or education. It's (unfortunately) a very rare commodity.
Good for him. I rushed through college too quickly perhaps, had no idea what to do when I graduated. Ended up going back for more classes once I had discovered an interesting career path. I wish I had taken it slower and had more guidance from the beginning. I suspect I would have ended up in the same place at the same, but with a lot less stress and financial burden.
"Thomas is so lucky that he has a mom who is so grounded in integrity and truth, and is, therefore, a person so utterly dependable and reliable for him."
Methinks the fine father image you've stamped into him will carry him wherever he wants to go. That kind of character will flower in a work environment and protect him in the university.
You're creating a lasting legacy on this earth, Bob. I'm guessing Fathers Day is a righteous event around your house every year. ;-)
Good post, Bob. He does indeed need to make his own decisions and be accountable to himself and his Maker, whatever they are.
terri,
Good advice, and I predict that is exactly what Thomas will do.
julie,
Yes, it is rare. Parents have to insist on it early and often, and praise it every time we see evidence of a child taking responsibility. Mau Mau helped me plant the geranium garden yesterday, and I praised her loud and clear and often.
daddio,
The financial burden is something I neglected to mention in my post, but it is surely a significant consideration.
robin,
Thomas would be the first to tell you that I stamped him with everything I had!
Thomas has done so well in the past year...you and Colleen are obviously supporting him in his decisions, something he needs more than an education (although education is important, too). But it is more important in his path to healing to know he has control of his life.
God bless him and y'all's whole family.
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