Guest post by Suzann Darnall
My parents were just here for a visit with our family. They live up in Colorado and we live down in Texas. Over the course of a week they spent time with my daughters and their husbands, my grandchildren, as well as with my husband and me. We had whole family gatherings, individual family get-togethers, and smaller group outings. Everyone was able to spend at least a little bit of time with Nana and Poppa.
Mom and Dad were both born in the late 1930s, so they are hovering over and under the eight decades mark in age. They have lived through a lot of changes in the world. My parents were both born in West Virginia. My father lived on a small country place and my mother lived in a small town. They have since moved across the United States, including both Alaska and Hawaii, as well as the Philippines. They have also travelled extensively around America and the globe. My father has gone from using a party-line phone in his parents’ home to having his own iPhone. My mother grew up in a four-room house and now has a four floor home.
It was amazing to watch my family, as well as complete strangers interact with my parents. Even more fascinating is how my parents relate to others. I am not sure my parents have ever met a stranger and people seem to be immediately put at ease by their friendliness.
One shop owner ended up getting a lesson in Morse Code after he sold my father a vintage telegraph machine. My father found an easy way to memorize the code a while back and shared it with this man who had mentioned his difficulty in learning the old-fashioned method of communication.
While I was not at the breakfast gathering with my mother, my oldest daughter, and some other ladies, I heard about it. My mother and the mother of another of the ladies discovered they were both down here in Texas from Colorado and hit it off immediately. They even made plans to try to get together when they are back home up north.
Particularly special was seeing my parents interact with other people who were also in the senior category. So often the men were military veterans, like my father, and they would offer one another a respectful greeting and perhaps share a tale or two of military service, war time, or just trade a comment about who served in which branch. My mother and my best friend were especially cute when the three of us went shopping after having lunch. My mother and my friend are both cardmakers. So, when they found card making supplies at good prices they stood and looked through just about every item in the aisle. Talking about what they had at home and which brands were good and which brands were better. You’d have thought they did card supply shopping trips once a week, instead of this being their first time out.
One event that touched my heart most deeply was a young man coming over to us as we were leaving a restaurant and preparing to get into our vehicle. My father was getting out the small step-stool for my mother to use to climb into the SUV my daughter has loaned them for their visit. This young man hurried over to ask if he could assist them, thanked my father for his service, and chatted a bit with Dad about how he came from a family of Jarheads (said with affection, not disrespect). He also lamented that Vietnam Vets once faced so much disrespect and thought the nation should have been more grateful. A sweet moment in time for sure.
I sometimes fear modern American society does not value our older folks. If you look at healthcare it seems as if much of it is designed to shove old people aside and allow them to die … preferably as soon as possible. In many ways middle-aged persons and senior citizens are one of the groups that it is still perfectly okay to discriminate against. It happens in both hiring and firing practices. Law enforcement and government seem to do very little to rein in the rampant scamming of the elderly that takes place by phone, mail, email, text, and door-to-door.
I was blessed to know great-grandparents, grandparents, and numerous other elder relatives. They taught me so much over the years. They gave me so much. I have also had some older friends that have been just as special at times in my life. Among our great American treasure troves are the very special senior citizens that live in our communities. They are a resource that we really should use more often. But, first we must learn to value them and then we will know better the contributions they can make.
I think the wisdom of age is something we need to value more as we see an ever growing trend to excuse the stupidity of the young. I do not mean young as in children, although they are often referred to as children. I am talking about the adults who are refusing to grow up and become responsible. In my worldview, if you are 18 years old, you are an adult. You are legally allowed to vote, smoke, join the military, serve on a jury, and do a whole lot of other things. So, these “young” adults need to exercise the responsibility if they are going to exercise the rights.
Maybe they can start showing a little more maturity by respecting their elders. Maybe all of us can show a little more respect for our elders … who might well be our betters, too.
my latest WoolyMammoth.Org essay
Suzann Darnall
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