Preparing to retire comfortably

From the satirical Babylon Bee:

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Nick Sandmann settled yet another nine-figure lawsuit today, dozens of people went out in MAGA hats, gathering outside The Washington Post's offices in hopes that they too would be defamed by the newspaper.

The clever entrepreneurs stood outside the paper's headquarters wearing the pro-Trump headgear. They just stood there, not chanting or protesting or breaking anything, a protest tactic that immediately confused the liberals working at the Post.

"It's very strange -- they're not burning anything. They must not be peaceful protesters. Nonetheless, we will not be fooled by this tactic," said a WaPo editor. "We will be able to resist the urge to commit libel against these deplora--I mean, these ordinary Americans."

At publishing time, The Washington Post had written defamatory articles about all of them. They are all preparing to retire comfortably.