Euphemisms

While I am writing about my favorite liberals, don't let me forget to include George Carlin. I recently picked up his When will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? at a book sale at the library. While I do not agree with his theological conclusions or his liberal politics, I salute him for his social commentary and satire. He was perhaps the best satirist of the last fifty years. He died in 2008. We need someone to come along and take his place.

In this time of magical Hope and Change, politicians and Madison Avenue are increasingly becoming skillful at manipulating us by euphemisms. Whether it is political correctness, job titles, psycho jargon, or just the words used to describe every day items, the examples are endless. Carlin is right, I'm afraid, when he says that "Americans prefer to avoid the truth; not look it in the eye." Euphemisms are softening our language and taking the life out of life.

Here are just a few of Carlin's examples, though there are literally hundreds and hundreds more. In world War I soldiers whose nervous systems reached a boiling point were said to be suffering from "shell shock." By the time we got World War II, the same phenomena was called "battle fatigue." By Korea it was called "operational exhaustion." By Vietnam, it was called "post-traumatic stress disorder."

Toilet paper became "bathroom tissue." Sweat pants became "active wear." False teeth became "dental appliances." Rugs became toupees became "hair replacement systems." Carlin advises us to beware of that word: "systems." Our cars' heaters and air conditioners became "climate control systems." Seat belts and air bags are now known as "impact management systems." As Carlin notes, "Ya can't beat the system!"

Trailer parks have become "manufactured homes communities." Mouth wash is now "dental rinse." Soap has now become "bath bars," "cleansing bars," or "clarifying bars." Hair spray is now "holding mist," or "sculpting gel." Douche is now "feminine wash."

And don't even get me started on political correctness, which Carlin notes has become "America's newest form of intolerance, yet it comes disguised as tolerance!"