Remaking the Republican Party

:The Onion covers the story: how the Republicans might revamp their party in order to appeal to minorities, single women, and young people.

Mitt Romney’s poor performance among minority voters, single women, and young people has led many top Republicans to call for an overhaul of the party’s image. Here are some options the GOP is considering to extend its appeal:

Start nominating hipper, more relatable 65-year-old men

Begin rolling the R’s in “deportation” and “border fence”

A bunch of abortions and stuff—whatever the gals want

Change nothing and wait for rest of country to come to its senses

Project youthful vibe by requiring Republican congressmen to walk around Capitol doing yo-yo tricks

Change party mascot to a Hispanic elephant

Start one of those Twitter hashtags

Eh, fuck it—just disenfranchise as many people as possible

http://www.theonion.com/articles/remaking-the-republican-party,30551/