Humor is the best medicine

Manhatten Infidel has found a sacred text in which Obama talks to his followers:

And when his cabinet and czars were come over the water, they had forgotten to take arugula and other healthy green food.
Who said to them:  Take heed and beware the unhealthy diets of moderate Democrats and Fox news anchors. For they loveth meat and have high cholesterol.
But they thought within themselves, saying:  Because we have taken no arugula.
And Obama knowing it, said:  Do you not yet understand?  My intellect is too much for this generation.  For I am a constitutional scholar and these people are rubes.
And came Obama into the quarters of ESPN to make his final four picks: and he asked his cabinet and czars, saying:  Whom do you think will win it all this year?  I’m picking Southern Miss.
And upon hearing this Nancy Pelosi said to him:  Thou art the chosen one, the one who reduces sea levels and saves our constitution from bitter clingers.
And Obama answering said to her:  Blessed art thou, Nancy of the nip and tuck:  because flesh and blood have not revealed it to thee because you have no flesh and blood.
And I say unto thee:  Thou art the leader of the Democrats in congress and upon this I will raise gas prices so the rubes will take high speed rail.
And I will give thee the keys to the kingdom of Washington D.C.  And you shall raise gas prices. And whatsoever thou shalt raise in DC will be raised also throughout America.
And from that time Obama began to shew his cabinet and czars that he must run for reelection and suffer many things from the Republicans and Fox news, and lose the election and the third day get a prime time gig at MSNBC.
And Joe Biden taking him, began to rebuke him saying:  Daddy if you lose what will happen to me?
Who turning said to Joe:  Go behind me.  No seriously go behind me and eat some snacks because the adults have work to do.
Then Obama said to his cabinet and czars:  If any man will come after me let him deny others unhealthy foods and SUVs and use them yourselves to travel the country and follow me.
For what doth it profit a man if he has to drive 60 miles to work and suffer the loss of his own environmentally-conscious soul?  Or what exchange shall a man give for his environmentally-conscious soul?  Except high speed rail of course.
Amen I say to you there are some of them that drive SUVs and eat cheeseburgers that shall not taste death till they see Obama eating arugula and taking high speed rail as an example to the rubes.
[To be continued]
Read the whole thing here:  http://manhattaninfidel.com/2012/03/27/the-gospel-of-barack-obama-part-ix/#comments