Thursday, January 13, 2011

My ears are warm...because of my hat.

I have a warm hat that I think is made of rabbit fur. I like it very much. It has been wonderful to have on my head in the below zero weather we experienced this past week. However, on one of those days, I had to enter a building where there was security check. The guy operating the security check point did not like the fact that I did not take off my hat immediately upon entering the building.

My hat covers my ears and has clips that click together under my chin. My custom is to take off my gloves in order to undo the clasps. However, when it is eleven below zero, I might still have my hat and gloves on for a few moments, even after entering a building. That's what I did on the day I met the 5-foot-three-direct-ancestor-of-Napoleon security guard. Mr. Security Guard sternly lectured me on the importance of rapid removal of hats when entering his precious building, and warned me not to try to put it back on while still inside the building.

Guess what? Yesterday I had to go back in that building, and it was still below zero at 8 a.m. when I entered the building. I completely forgot to take off my hat. Mr. Security Guard went ballistic. Colleen was with me. He asked if we were together, and I said we were, so he was immediately rude to her, too. Colleen whispered to me that he probably thinks I have a gun in my hat, and was probably going to toss the gun to her so she could stick up the place, ala Bonnie and Clyde.

After feeling that he had been sufficiently rude to us, he allowed us to retrieve the items from the large plastic bowl, even my belt, which he had demanded be removed. Over the last several months, my weight has gone from 218 pounds to 173 pounds, so I was worried that without my belt, my pants would start to fall down. Can you imagine how Mr. Security Guard would have reacted to that scenario?

I love my rabbit fur warm hat. My ears don't get cold, even when the temperature is below zero. And, like Andy over at Andy's Place, I look good in it.

4 comments:

Andy said...

Nyuk! Bob, as I said in a previous post, I sure am not gonna complain about our 18 degree temps, seeing as my friends further north are truly suffering.

Dang, that's cooooooollllldddddd! I just had to laugh out loud reading this.

Seriously!

I took a new job about 3 months ago which I TRULY, TRULY LOVE! In fact, I believe that I will likely work this job for the next 20 years, or until they fire me, or until I croak.

I work in Security at a large hospital...Nyuk!

Dude, I know of what you speak. There are truly some Napoleon-complex cats in the biz. I take a more laid-back approach myself, and everyone on our staff is pretty cool. But, I've heard horror stories from current employees about some of the sawed-off wannabes that made life hell for them in the past.

Rabbit fur, huh? Dang...I gotta look into that. I mean, my stocking cap is doing the job for now, but that does sound comfy/cozy/whatever.

You're a hoot, dude. Seriously...still chuckling.

Meilandru said...

I'm so proud of you and the weight you have lost, and hopefully of the life and light you have found in your better health.

Bob's Blog said...

Andy,
I appreciate your humor, too. I worked as a valet at a large hospital, and had many enjoyable conversations with the security guards.

Meilandru,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I have been thinking of you every time I hear the word Tucson, which, lately has been a lot!

Terri Wagner said...

Sorta like this weirdo sheriff that stopped me for speeding (imagine that?) on the interstate and proceeded to demand to know where I worked, where I was driving from, why I passed him (apparently that's a no no) and blah blah blah. Gave me a written warning. BTW I have absolutely NO parking, speeding or anything tickets. He made me soooooooooooo mad. And it turns out sheriffs can't even give you tickets. Man is a ticking time bomb. He's luckly he pulled me over. I'm stil mad. So you handled it better than I did.