What is it with mothers and mothers-in-law that seems to cause them to lose their ability to nurture, when their child becomes an adult? It seems all they can do is criticize. "You are not doing this right. You are not doing that right. You are making the wrong decison here, and the wrong decision there."
Why can't they just relax and say I love you, and I know you will do the right thing, and I am so proud of you.?
Are dads just as bad? Is it that we just don't expect much nurturing from them?
4 comments:
now come on Bob... all mothers and mothers in law are not like that...
I feel like I bite my tongue quite a bit in order not to criticize... of course I have girls... maybe if I had boys I would be more critical of their wives...
now my husband on the other hand notices everything that the sons in law do wrong...
mimi,
Of course, you are right, they are not all like that. I am glad you are supportive of your adult daughters. I have just seen lots of moms who are not, and I wish they would bite their tongues right off! Does your husband bite his tongue, or does he criticize the sons-in-law to their faces or to your daughters?
I don't think they are all like that. But my mother was. I had a large family; wrong decision. Like Colleens mother, the material side of life was what mattered. Funny thing was though; to her friends, to the rest of the family, to acquaintances she bragged about me; about my children, how I managed so well with so little. I think sometimes the criticism is a matter of speaking before thinking.
cynthia,
Of course it is true that not all mothers do this. I should have said some, before I said mothers.
As I have said before to you, you have a far more gracious and forgiving spirit than I. My m.i.l. is the same exact way as your mother. When she is visiting, she will go up to perfect strangers in restaurants, and brag about, "I don't know how they do it!" Soon, however, she reverts to form, and criticizes us for having foster children, for having our last two children, for not having the finest material things, etc., etc., etc.!
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