Values, Bonds, and Teamwork

One of my favorite commenters on this blog is daddio from the My Three Sons blog. Recently he asked me to write about teamwork, and what do we do to achieve it in our large family. The following are some of my thoughts on the subject.

Before teamwork comes values. Colleen and I model certain values by our actions, and the kids also have their own values. If we model the value of unselfishness, then some of the kids will pick up on that, and incorporate it into their own value system. If there is a bond between parent and child, neither wants to break that bond by violating the value system being promulagated by the parents.

Without ever asking six-year-old Greg to help with the dishwasher chores, he just figured out on his own that that is a way he can contribute. An added benefit to him is that he gets to climb up on the counter to put things away. Soon the three younger kids were all helping take things out of the dishwasher and handing them to me.

When the kids play together, there are some values that are given great importance. No lying, no selfishness, no stealing, and no self-pity. One of the really wonderful thing about large families, is that there simply cannot be any selfishness. Your peers simply will not tolerate it. You will also be excluded if you are always whining and self-pitying. There is an amazing sense of justice. If you lie or steal, you better share the goods (Halloween candy) with the others, or you will be outed in a flash!