Lessons for life found in church bulletins:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals...
--------------------------The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
--------------------------Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you...
--------------------------Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow...
--------------------------At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------Potluck supper Sunday at 5pm - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.
--------------------------The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!"
found here: http://fkclinic.blogspot.com/2013/03/religion-post-of-day.html
1 comment:
Thanks for the post Bob, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe!
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