When a man gives his wife a chainsaw...

"My first balky lesson took place on our ancient, deformed pear tree. A plant that I despise beyond reason. It stands Oz warped against the night sky, ugly with its witch finger twigs waving over my boy’s bedrooms, offering up bitter, fallen fruit that tempt the dogs into flagrant states of explosive diarrhea.
I truly hate this foul tree.

The first cut felt almost soft, like running your fingertips over the rough edge of raw cut silk, so much easier than the sticky hack-bow I’ve manhandled into compliance over the past ten years.
Twenty minutes later, confidence found, I was ripping through the backyard like a tiny, euphoric lumberjack.

This chainsaw is pure magic, an absolute wonder of mechanical engineering. Our tree canopy will be lucky to see a stray branch swaying within my new-found reach.
Much love for the man who gives me such strange and perfectly suited gifts."

Read more here:  http://jadedhaven.wordpress.com/2012/03/04/strange-gifts/