The brilliant satirist Scott Ott, otherwise known as Scrappleface, today takes aim at the Iran Study Group report which is due out this week (even though leakers have aleady been giving us bits and pieces for several days. Here is the full Scrappleface piece from today:
December 4, 2006
LEAK: Iraq Study Group Offers Bush 12-Step Plan
by Scott Ott
(2006-12-04) — The Iraq Study Group report, available at major bookstores and the White House on Wednesday, will recommend a 12-step plan to get Iraqis to rise up and take control of their country, according to the panel’s regularly-scheduled daily leak.
The new plan would accomplish the main objective of the U.S. military presence in Iraq — a graceful exit.
An unauthorized draft copy of the classified report, released to al Qaeda through the The New York Times today, draws on the popular 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous as a strategic template.
“It really redefines military intervention in terms our society will find more tolerant and sensitive,” said an unnamed source. “We start by admitting that America is powerless over Islamic terrorists and that the Iraq war has become unmanageable.”
The Iraq Study Group has come to believe that “a power greater than the U.S. could restore sanity to the situation,” according the draft of the report. “We call upon President Bush to make a conscious decision to turn our foreign policy over to the care of a higher power, in this case Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.”
Photo image courtesy of Okie on the Lam.
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