Saturday, August 25, 2018

Vital household appliances

When you live on a mesa top in New Mexico in late August there is no doubt which household appliances are most essential: flyswatters! Flies come zooming into the house every time someone opens the door. It is important to remain calm. Hitting the flies with too much force may damage the flyswatters. Then you have to make a trip into town to look for new flyswatters.

Walmart will surely have some. First, I look without asking for help. No luck. Then I ask a Walmart employee at the hardware desk. He's busy talking to a customer and tells me the flyswatters are back there by the brooms, an aisle I had already cased five times. I decide to go look for something else on my shopping list, which I found at the other end of the store. One more time I ask an employee if he knows where the flyswatters are. He said, "Come with me!" We walked the entire length of the megastore and he reached up onto the top shelf and pulled down a box about 8 inches wide with four flyswatters. Two for 98 cents! Being a big spender, I bought all four! That young Walmart Associate is going places! I hope he sticks with it and gets promoted many times. I find more friendly employees at Walmart than at any other store.

When I got home the flies had multiplied by the hundreds it seemed. Too tired to take them on, I went to bed. The flies were glad to see me. They happily nestled in my nostrils, on my lips, in my ears, and on my eyes. I got up turned the lights on and began swinging. Like your golf swing, form is important. Cock your wrist. That helps control your aim and you don't need to swing so hard.

Two of the four flyswatters are now damaged. All four are in key strategic secret locations in the house. Wish me luck!

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