Climate change is almost a big a threat as the Constitution!

Satirist Manhattan Infidel has just written a blog post with the longest title ever:

President Obama: Climate Change is a Threat and We Must Act Now! And by Act Now I Mean Reduce Carbon Emissions. And by Reducing Carbon Emissions I mean Reduce Freedom! And by Reducing Freedom I Mean Reducing Freedom for Others, Not Myself!

It may be blogdom's longest post title, but every word seems essential to me. Manhattan Infidel explains that to Obama,

Climate change is almost a big a threat as the Constitution!

With President Obama flying off to Paris to address the settled science of global warming climate change we here at the settled science of Manhattan Infidel (for Manhattan Infidel is a fact and if you disagree you are stupid and racist) have taken the liberty of reprinting in full Dear Leader’s address to assembled cultists in Alaska before he went to Paris.

So please sit back, pass the popcorn and enjoy. And remember, please use a low-flush toilet whenever possible. No it won’t help the Earth but the exercise you’ll get from using the plunger will help you.

"I want to thank the people of Alaska for hosting this conference. I look forward to visiting more of Alaska over the next couple of days. And then getting the hell out. I mean it’s cold. Bitterly, sub-zero glacially cold. Colder than Michelle. You know maybe Alaska could use some climate change!

We are not going to — any of us — be able to solve these challenges brought on by climate change by ourselves. We can only solve them together. And by together I mean leading from behind. Leading from behind. You know when I was in college that was my Pakistani boyfriend’s favorite pick up line.

...I recall what one Alaska Native told me at the White House a few years ago. He said, “Many of our villages are ready to slide off into the waters of Alaska, and here is your marijuana.” You see, if we don’t act now the villages that grow my pot will disappear. And smoking pot is the only thing that makes the arctic iceberg that is my wife endurable.

...But the point is that climate change is no longer some far-off problem, like the JV team of ISIL You notice I said ISIL not ISIS. That’s because I’m smarter than you. It is happening here. It is happening now. Climate change is already disrupting our agriculture and ecosystems, our water and food supplies, our energy, our infrastructure. It’s disrupting them more than my economic policies.

...And let’s be honest — there’s always been an argument against taking action. The notion is somehow this will curb our economic growth. And at a time when people are anxious about the economy, that’s an argument oftentimes for inaction. I’m here to tell you that taking action will not curb our economic growth. My economic policies have already done that. So what are we waiting for?

Read the rest, which is NSFBB (Not Safe for Bob's Blog)