Saying no to your teen

Ann Voskamp has a conversation with her teen daughter.

There are two of you, really. The Short-Term You —- and the Long-Term You. The Now-You — and the Becoming You.

The Immediate You. And the Ultimate You.

And if I only loved the right now Immediate You —- and let The Immediate You come and go and do whatever she wanted, whatever made her Feel All The Good Things, whatever made her happiest, I wouldn’t be loving the Ultimate You.

Please hear what All The Parents finally figure out, what I finally realize my own mama was saying:

This isn’t fun for me.

There isn’t one fibre in my soft, pulsing mama heart that likes seeing the short-term Immediate You Hurt. But I love the long-term Ultimate You too wide and deep and long — the you that can ultimately be —- that I’m willing to take the ire and anger of your Immediate Self right now.

I’m willing to take your anger and your eye rolls and feel the sting of it all on the soft insides of my mother heart. I’m willing to let my own Immediate Me hurt with your Immediate You — us both hurting together —- because I love the Ultimate You and am committed to the Ultimate You and won’t sell out the long-term Ultimate You.

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