Most days I need someone to help me with mail, help me find things I’ve misplaced, take me to appointments, shop, walk me into buildings and help with anything eyes usually take care of.
Dependence is one of the toughest parts of blindness – constantly reconciling my inner capabilities with my outer disability is trying.
People often innocently relate to me based on my outer disability, because it’s most obvious, and risk missing the real me that lives behind blind eyes.
That’s what often exacerbates the isolation of blindness; it prohibits real connection.
Over the years, to compensate for the dependence and potential isolation, I’ve tried to prove myself – be more capable, more organized, more whatever it took to make blindness a bridge that connects me to others, rather than a barrier of separation.
So, an ordinary day for me requires meekness.
I’m learning to bridle my strength, humble myself and let others be strong in my weakness.
An ordinary day in the dark challenges my desire to perform perfectly. It demands I reconcile that who I am and what I struggle with are not the same thing.
Blindness causes me to affirm my identity is in God alone – not in what I can or cannot do.
Darkness is benevolent in that way. It is what God uses to keep me acquainted with the liberating truth that I am who He says I am – not what I label myself.
I pray and sometimes cry…but I always leave the momentary mirror confrontation stronger, softer and more determined. Why? Because God really is strong in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12: 8, 9) and if we seek Him, we really do find Him—even in our toughest moments.
The tough things in life teach us, train us and tenderize us. They make us wiser and more equipped to love others like they really need to be loved — with empathy and honesty.
When we’re most acquainted with our needs, we are most drawn to God’s provision. When we feel our tears, we can better feel the pain of others.
Every day in darkness there are a million reasons to get bitter and quit. But, there are also better reasons to persevere. The path, even in the dark, is purposeful.
If we quit, get bitter or arrogant, we miss out on the higher gifts — like dependence on Him, deeper intimacy, meekness and empathy.
Trust that God is just…He has a plan and a purpose.
May He give you the treasures of darkness…Isaiah 45: 3
Read more over at Ann Voskamp's blog.
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