Area dad gives rebuttal to Obama's State of the Union

The Onion reports

PHILADELPHIA—Reiterating numerous themes from last year’s rebuttal while offering several searing critiques of tonight’s speech, area dad Bill Shaw delivered his official response to President Barack Obama’s State of the Union address tonight directly into the television screen, household sources reported. “Well, there you go, folks—same canned lines we’ve been hearing for the last two years with a couple of empty nods to the little guy, just how I said it would be,” the area father of two said, squaring his body toward the front of the family room and looking directly into the television set as he delivered his impassioned thoughts on the issues of immigration, health care, the middle class, China, that holier-than-thou look Obama always has on his face, and the Toyota Prius.