Leadership

In thinking about what our foster child, "Linebaker Dude," needs, many people give us suggestions. Some say he needs to be an only child. Some say he needs to be around lots of children. Some say he needs to live in the country. Some say he needs to live in an urban area. What nobody says is that he needs parents who will provide leadership!

Remember, he has been mostly on his own his whole life. He is used to doing what he wants, and only what he wants. That is not how you become a civilized human being. Human beings require someone, somewhere along the way, to provide leadership; to teach the child that he can trust his caretaker, who has certain basic expectations of the child in terms of behavior. Someone must be there to teach the child the basic realities of life, and inspire them to follow your example. The child cannot be the one who is in charge. The adult must be in charge. It is the child's job to follow the lead of the parent, not the other way around. Too many parents nowadays are abdicating that leadership role. Children are left to follow the lead of whomever it is that they are spending time with: MTV? Peers? Rock stars? Pedophiles?

Why are so many parents abdicating their responsibility to lead? What are we afraid of? Social Services? That we won't be seen as "child-centered"? That the child will be angry at us? Our society gives kids the message that they are equal to adults. Movies and t.v. ridicule parents, especially fathers. Simpsons? Family
Guy? Need more examples? Are we just too busy to give the child our leadership? Then we need to change our priorities, because we do not have any more important responsibility than to provide leadership to our children.

Have parents of today become wimps? If so, how did that happen? If our children don't do well in school, we blame the schools, and ask the government not to leave any child behind. However, how much value do the parents place on learning? What examples do the parents set? What about housework? Do parents do it all, or do they expect the children to join in and help?

Parents of children are not the only wimps. Have you noticed how many dog owners fail to provide leadership for their dogs? Check out Cesar Milan on the National Geographic Channel's Dog Whisperer show. Most of his clients are "successes" in our society, but let their pets run all over them. Horse owners do the same thing. They give their horses forty acres in which to graze, sparkling clean barns, all the right foods and minerals, the best in ferrier services and trainers, but fail to command respect and provide leadership. Disobedience is allowed day after day with no consequences. If no one expects the child, dog, or horse to listen and obey, they won't!