"Science me that!"

What a happy surprise! Scott Ott is back doing his Scrappleface satires!

By turning off a genetic mutation in mice, scientists at the University of Alabama say they’ve reversed age-associated wrinkles, balding and gray hair, finally offering hope to elderly people that they might someday have smooth skin, dark hair and a full, thick pelt, just like younger mice.

“This is revolutionary news in our selfie-driven society, enamored as we are of cute animal videos,” said an unnamed researcher in Birmingham. “It means that your social media likes and shares can finally increase as you age, because you’ll look perpetually young, cute and furry.”

For the study, scientists altered a mouse gene to cause mitochondrial dysfunction, creating premature hair loss, graying and skin wrinkling. Then they flipped the genetic switch, reversing the apparent aging.

A spokesman for the International Geriatric Rodent Defense League (IGRDL), a non-profit advocacy group, protested the “cruel use of mouse subjects,” and questioned the importance of the research, noting that scientists had merely reversed aging that they had also induced.

“To reverse real wrinkles, gray hair and balding in humans,” the IGRDL source said, “they’d have to put my kid into rehab, pay off my credit cards, fire my boss, and get my third wife off my back. Science me that!”