The January 20 Denver Post has an above-the-fold front page story about Gayle Haggard. She is the wife of Ted Haggard, who was the pastor of an evangelical megachurch in Colorado Springs. He was also the president of the National Association of Evangelicals and ran several other large ministries.
Gayle has written a book entitled Why I Stayed, referring to the fact that she has stayed married to Ted, even after it was revealed that Mr. Haggard had a secret life of drug use and homosexual liaisons. She chose to forgive him and to continue to love him. That is what her understanding is of Christianity. She says she and her husband have been treated better by people whose faith - or lack thereof - was unknown to the Haggards, than they have been by fellow church members.
Mr. Haggard finally revealed the truth, after a talk radio interview with his accuser. That night, "in spite of her anger, revulsion, and pain, she started choosing to forgive" him. "I turned and slid into his arms." She said if he had not repented and if he had persisted in sin, she might have chosen differently.
I think Mr. Haggard is an extremely lucky man to have a wife like Gayle Haggard. I know I might be somewhat naive about this and other stories in the news (Sarah Palin?), but I do think Mrs. Haggard is showing us what real Christianity is all about. My wife read the same article, and thinks after Gayle gets her money from the book sales, she'll dump the no-good slug.
What do you think?
4 comments:
Haven't followed that one, don't know of the people involved other than the names. So my take is that if she's able to truly forgive him, and he's able to truly repent, God bless 'em both. Odds are against it. Frankly, my suspicion is that too much of running the mega churches is business, and not strictly speaking God's business. They both rate to be more than a little addicted to their con game.
I think it's much easier in the beginning to say you forgive because the pain and anguish of the other person touches you so deeply. But forgetting and being able to push it away as that person's repentance turns back to normacly (not necessarily back to their sin just back to being them however wiser and sadder), it becomes ironically harder to maintain forgiveness. And that's even assuming he stays repentant. I'm with your wife on this one.
Is she stays with him, she's a far better woman than I am.
But if there's true forgiveness and repentance, then more power to them.
Are you being naive? in a word: Yes.
As a doc, I have treated too many women who stayed in marriages with gays, and only later did they admit the subtle abuse that they had to put up with day after day.
Yes, some bisexual men can happily marry and love their wives, and could be forgiven for a "one night stand"; but a man who abused drugs and had several affairs? I don't think so. Sounds like he married her "for cover" not for love.
Her talk about "love" and "forgiveness" reminds me of the talk of abused women, who stay with abusive spouses and spout about why God wants them to do so, or because they "love" him and he promised them he will change.
The problem is that the men learn the wrong lesson: That they can go on with their behavior, and always be forgiven.
Forgiveness doesn't mean being blind to his mistreatment of her and the family, and it doesn't mean staying with him so he can do it again and again.
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