A few months ago I wrote about our family's decision to put our house up for sale and look for more land with animals. We were unable to sell our house, but we actually reached a win-win solution (I had not wanted to move, especially to the prairie east of Denver). Now I get to stay in beautiful Golden, Colorado, and my wife has found a wonderful ranch fifteen minutes from our home. This ranch allows people to board all kinds of animals. We have bought two horses, and two cute goats are also in the fold. Our children work off the monthly boarding charges, and have been spending big chunks of their days at the ranch.
My wife, a very astute psychologist, has made an observation about parental authority in the ranch setting versus the non-ranch suburban setting. In the ranch setting, obedience is more likely to mean the difference between life and death. If we say, "Stay here," "Don't run" or "Stay next to me" and they choose to ignore the parental command, they could be run over by a tractor, two horses who are fighting over some grain, or a charging ram. If they mindlessly scream or yell, they are likely to spook the horses, with dangerous consequences. In the park in Golden, or at the mall, if we say, "It's time to go," there is no life and death issue, so the kids are more likely to ignore the statement, and the parents are less likely to demand obedience.
The whole concept of the necessity for someone to be in control is not really a construct we think about that much in our modern families. In fact, it is politically incorrect to think of control as a good thing! We do not discipline like we mean it. The result is that parents no longer say what they mean, or mean what they say, and children don't take very seriously the need to obey. Ask anyone who works in a school setting, and they will tell you that establishing control, especially with boys, is more and more difficult each year.
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