Monday, May 05, 2014

Free-range, sun-dyed, vegan, organic, hormone-free, recycled, carbon neutral, gluten-free, septic system-safe toilet paper



Steve Lipsher was one of the lucky ones who got to attend the grand opening of a Whole Foods Market in the tiny Colorado mountain town of Frisco. He writes:
Now, I've got nothing against the upscale grocery chain sarcastically known as "Whole Paycheck," even if the self-anointed, morally superior, Prius-driving, bamboo-fiber reusable-bag crowd it attracts and the store-opening "blessing" by — I'm not making this up — a feng shui consultant speak of its pretentiousness and affected smugness.

I mean, where else can one sample yak-butter cheeses created by certified fair-trade Tibetan herders and purchase free-range, sun-dyed, vegan, organic, hormone-free, recycled, carbon-neutral, gluten-free, septic system-safe toilet paper? (Try the Paleo style, by the way, for extra scouring power.)

Stop. Remember that it's just a grocery store, no matter how fancy and well-stocked it is with bulk whole grains cultivated by an Eritrea farmers cooperative and truffle-infused oil made from wild, pesticide-free olives hand-raised by the pope himself.

On the other hand, if we ever get an In-and-Out Burger ... .
Read more here.

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