Victimizing

Feeling victimized? How do you respond when you feel victimized by someone close to you? Some people feel it gives them the green light to endlessly victimize the person whom they choose to identify as their abuser. That's a trap, especially in a spousal relationship. Once one lets evil get a foothold, it seems to become so enjoyable that the person who once may actually have suffered some injustice from her spouse, now gives herself permission to inflict as much misery as possible on the person who they believe wronged them. Each time they abuse that person, they remind the person of the horrendous flaws that person possesses, at least in the ever-flourishing and ever-darkening imagination of the person who daily bathes in the foamy suds of abuse.

And, what if that person can find an ally? If she is an attractive woman, finding allies among horny males is a piece of cake. She suddenly realizes she can find a man with more money, more property, less years in the aging process, more of whatever she believes is lacking in her current relationship.

Obviously, getting away from such overwhelming evil is recommended. But, if there are children involved, that alternative is not so easy. Children, both boys and girls, need fathers. If you are a man being victimized, you may decide to stay in the home soley because you want to stay actively involved in parenting your children. Seeing your children once or twice a week does not substitute for seeing them every day, even if you are miserably abused by your spouse. Also there is the common abuse known as Parental Alienation Syndrome. This is where one spouse does the most evil thing imaginable: alienating the child's affections from his father. If she is engaging in other evil behaviors, what makes you think she will not engage in parental alienation?

Our prisons are full of prisoners who decided to become victimizers after suffering victimization themselves. Unfortunately, over 90 percent of the people in prison for spousal abuse are men, though from my own experience as a social worker, it is my belief that the actual occurence of spousal abuse is closer to fifty percent by males and fifty percent by females. Women are more experienced in non-physical forms of abuse.