"Pain's full kin - faith and hope awakening"

More from Terry and Madeleine Anderson's wonderful book, Den of Lions: Pamphlets detailing all of Iran's, Israel's, and America's arms for hostages dealings began to be distributed in Tehran's bazaar, then in Beirut by a pro-Syrian magazine. Then the story was picked up by the liberal American media, and no more American hostages would be released for nearly four years.

Madeleine made the shrewd observation that the captives' families were spending so much time criticizing our president in the media, that it played into the captors' hands. "They just had to keep the captives longer to keep the criticism going." The exact same thing we have witnessed since the beginning of the Iraq war. Before Bush was the designated devil and fool, the media had its Ronald Reagan.

Madeleine had a huge falling out with Terry's sister, Peggy, who was all over the media. Madeleine refused to speak with the media, not wanting to show the kidnappers how desperate she and others were to have their loved ones freed. Madeleine did send videos to all the Beirut television stations on every one of Terry's and Sulome's birthdays, in hopes Terry would see it.

At first Madeleine blamed God for all that had happened. "That made me feel more lonely than anything else." Both Terry and Madeleine fought against depression, anger, and frustration. finally she accepted the friendship of the wife of the new AP Middle East bureau chief, and started going to church with her, and no longer felt so alone.

Terry lived in enormous physical misery and often deep depression. The chains "were a very heavy emotional and psychological burden, as well as a physical one." He prays to God for strength, courage, and, above all, acceptance. Sometimes the acceptance comes, but then the "black misery" returns. "It's always there, in the background of my mind, waiting." One of his poems ends with these words: "I sit chained and trembling, full of pain, and pain's full kin - faith and hope awakening."