We received some news from the caseworker who is supposed to be working in the best interests of Linebacker Dude. She told us that his grandmother from California is coming to live with the great grandmother and LD's ten-year-old half-sister in the Denver metro area around Labor Day. A previous caseworker had told us that this woman has a drug problem and had been passed over by the authorities in consideration of placement with her of other of L.D.'s siblings. We have been waiting on a request from Colorado asking California to make a recommendation. I asked the caseworker about that, and she said there has been no response from California. Nevertheless, she expects to place him with the grandmothers in September: case closed!
There are some problems with this convenient solution. One is that L.D. has adopted us as his family. Another is that he has enormous rage, enormous strength, and needs a firm guiding hand. When my wife told LD about the plans, he responded vehemently, "No Grandmas, No Grandmas!"
6 comments:
I am constantly appalled by the insistence of the social work system that blood matters. In Seattle, we just had another case where the social worker botched a placement and put a kid, not a big kid, medium-sized, maybe 10 or 11, back with grandparents who had abused him and expected the kid to live in a trailer on the grandparents' property. Now that this has come to light, they are attempting to place the kid with other relatives. Why? What on earth makes relatives, who came from the same deeply screwed up family as the abusers, the best placement. Total strangers who won't hurt the kid are infinitely better than family carrying around the same pathology that got the kid in foster care in the first place.
So your little boy can grow up with two old women who have no idea how to handle his rage and eventually, some stranger, more likely strangerS, will pay the price when they cross LD at the wrong moment. What a great system.
Charles,
I could not finish reading your comments before the tears started to flow. You are so right.
I am so sorry you are going through this! I can only offer prayers.
Jungle Mom,
Thank you. We are his parents. Oh sure, if someone prefers, they can put the word foster in front of the word parent, but we will fight for him just like we would fight for any of our own flesh and blood.
I'll be praying that Linebacker Dude gets to stay where he belongs, Bob, with you and your family...y'all are his family.
You have my prayers. I believe in family as long as it functions in a semi-acceptable manner but this situation is clearly getting out of hand and that child needs your home.
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