Although my wife and I have graduate degrees in psychology and social work, guess who we look up to for parenting advice? Our main man is Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic Channel! Mostly by example, he gives great advice on how to be the leader of your pack. And, if the leader does not lead, the pack will come up with their own solutions, most of which you will not like! If you are a parent, and you have not seen this program, I highly recommend it.
The pack leader does not have to yell and scream, but he or she does have to be confident, assertive, relaxed and in control. Are you?
Also, the leader's issues are not the child's issues. You may have guilty feelings about trauma that your child may have experienced, even though you did not cause the trauma, and, as a result, you do not provide him with the structure or discipline he needs. The child then fills that void by acting aggressively. Children, however, need you to be a confident leader who will provide for them and assert dominance. No, you will not see words like dominance in the average book on parenting.
Parenting is all about earning trust. Your children are looking to you to provide leadership, which means both structure and nurturance. Only when you provide both will they settle down. Either you lead or they will. Which do you want?
No comments:
Post a Comment