Short, but sweet

I admit I had to think about this joke by Tommy Cooper a while before I got it:

'Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.'

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them - Steve Martin

I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, ‘Have you got frog’s legs?’ He said, ‘Yes,’ so I said, ‘Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich' - Tommy Cooper

Vegetarians, if you love animals so much then why do you keep eating all their food? - Unknown Origin

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts. Man: and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link? - Unknown Origin

Last week my mother-in-law fell into a wishing well, can’t believe it actually worked - Unknown Origin

I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister - Will Marsh

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