Patriarchy invades the Vatican

Did you hear about the crisis in the Vatican? The Pope has stated that Jesus is the Son of God. Such a lapse into patriarchy must mean the Pope is in danger, perhaps held captive. I turned to Manhattan Infidel to find out what is really happening. Don't worry, M.I. reports that

In Washington it is rumored that President Obama is considering air strikes on the Vatican to free Pope Francis from the grips of conservative patriarchy.

White House press secretary Jay Carney had this to say about the crisis:

The President is monitoring the situation very carefully from the golf course. He is concerned that the Vatican may clamp down on religious freedom. If a surgical strike becomes necessary we will first align ourselves with Muslim rebels in the Vatican. But we will not be putting boots on the ground. Except for the Muslim rebels of course.

Republican minority leader in the Senate Mitch McConnell said:

If the Democrats want to bomb the Vatican that’s okay with me. I always do what’s best for the Democratic party.

President Obama is expected to call an emergency cabinet session to address the crisis after he finishes his 18 holes.

Go to the llnk above to read the whole scary business.