Limbo

Foster care should be renamed "limbo." It would be more accurate, because it describes what is happening for the child, the birth parents, and the foster parents.

At present we have two foster children. One is a 13-month-old girl. She first came to us in February, when her mother broke a bone in the baby's leg. We only had her a few days in February, because the caseworker found a relative who said she could care for the baby. That lasted until June, when the relative could no longer care for her. She came back to us in June. She is very bonded to me and to my wife. We have loved and cared for her as though she were our own child.

New caseworker, new plan. New caseworker told the biological mother to move in with her grandmother who raised her. Mom and her new baby boy have now moved in with grandmother. But we have heard nothing from the caseworker, and there is one minor detail: the mother's criminal case has still not reached any conclusions about what the mother's consequences should be for breaking the bone in her daughter's leg! So the baby, the mother, the grandmother, and the foster parents remain in limbo.

A father? Yes, there was a man involved with the mother for at least ten minutes, but no one seems to be asking anything about him or any of his relatives.

Our other foster child is a rambunctuous (the politically correct word is ADHD) 23-month-old boy. He requires constant monitoring. His mother is incarcerated. She is a drug-abusing prostitute who has abandoned the boy on many occasions. As a result, he is used to doing whatever he pleases. We have placed limits on him, and he likes it here. He absolutely loves going out to the ranch where we keep two horses and two goats, and there are several other kinds of animals for him to romp with.

The people who were providing day care for him when his mother last abandoned him have stepped forward and told the caseworker that they would like to have him long term, maybe even adopt him. One problem: the man of the house has a felony on his record, a traffic felony. The powers that be are going to meet soon to determine if they can waive their normal rules (no person with a felony can qualify as a foster parent). The mother expects to be released from her present incarceration in the Spring. Although she has already lost parental rights to three other children, she will still be given a chance to be reunited with her son. Meanwhile, you guessed it: the son, mother, day care operators, and the foster parents are all in limbo.

A father? Yes, there is a man who was involved with the mother for at least ten minutes, but no one seems to be asking anything about his ability to care for his son or if he has relatives who could.