Friday, July 17, 2009

The Columbine Killers' Journals

In Dave Cullen's fascinating book Columbine, it is revealed that both Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris left behind journals. Dylan's reflected a young man grappling with life. From the first pages Eric's showed a killer who thought himself superior to all other humans. Dylan wasn't fond of other humans either, but his journals reflected his problem with loneliness. He remained religious right up to the end, but he cursed God for making him a modern Job. He realized that he had an unhealthy obsession with the video game Doom, and tried to delete it from his computer. He realized that he was addicted to vodka, and tried to quit. He realized that he had a problem ridiculing other kids; it was just too easy. Above all, he was lonely; he felt cut off from humanity. He saw that other humans loved their little boxes that made them feel safe and warm and comfy and boring. Unlike Eric Harris, Dylan was not planning to kill anyone, except, God willing, himself. Dylan had another problem: intense anger would flare up, "then fizzle in self disgust."

Both Eric and Dylan felt each was wholly unique. Eric saw his uniqueness as superiority to other humans. Dylan uniqueness was manifested as loneliness. His moods came and went quickly.

1 comment:

Terri Wagner said...

Loneliness is such a personal experience. Dylan may have been astonished to learn we all feel this though the circumstances that bring it about are so different. I often wonder if just one "normal" person had reached out and touched Dylan or Eric could it have made a difference? They seemed so disconnected from everyone.