Because of the loss of some money we had come to depend on (five hundred dollars in child support money for Colleen's children from her first marriage) we find ourselves pinching our pennies until the first of next month. And, wouldn't you know it, I got a day off today! I had wanted to take ten and nine-year-old sons Jon and Greg to a ballgame (the Colorado Rockies are playing today, and so are the Denver Broncos). Instead, we decided still to make the one hour trek to downtown Denver before the starts of the two ballgames and do free or almost free stuff, and we had a great time.
First we went to the Wynkoop Brewery and Restaurant. They have a large area on the second floor with many pool tables, a shuffleboard area, and a darts area. We did all three for a grand total of $7.00, including tip! Then, we treated ourselves to three burgers and some wild fries at Good Times for $11.00. Everything else we did was free! That includes playing in a park made of different sizes of rectangles to climb high on, riding a free bus up and down the 16th Street Mall, talking to all kinds of people, and walking through Octoberfest, where we watched dancers and accordion players doing their thing. Oh, and I should not forget one of the "funnest" things we did. We went into the Westin Hotel and rode the escalators! Of course, the boys did not just stand still while the escalators were moving. Need I say more?
Our journalistic (blogger?) endeavor was to stop people and ask them if they knew why steam was pouring out of the streets. Jon had excitedly pointed out the steam to me. The best answer we got was that the buildings around there are heated by steam heat that flows underground to the buildings. Yes, people are probably turning on their heat during these 45 degree nights. Periodically, every few blocks, they purposely let the steam out into the street so it won't combust in the pipes or boilers in the buildings ("blowing off steam?")
Speaking of "blocks," my "country" boys did not know what I was talking about when I said gleefully, "we actually got a free parking spot only two blocks away from the Wynkoop!" I explained to them what a "block" is, and then said, "It's a good thing you learned this before you become teenagers and get teased for not knowing it." They did not believe anyone would tease them for not knowing something like that.
Though I wanted to take our adopted daughter, six-year-old Sara, with us, the boys begged me not to, since Sara almost always "acts crazy when out in public," for prolonged periods, and Colleen concurred with the boys' assessment. Sara's biological mother had been diagnosed with many psychiatric disorders. Sara starts getting silly, then laughs loudly and unceasingly, then starts screaming.
How do you think Colleen and I respond to willful, loud crazy behavior, given that we both have advanced degrees in the mental health fields? We tell her to stop acting crazy! We do not tolerate it. Of course, we couple those admonishments with lots of nurturing and encouragement, but bottom line is, our family is crazy enough, thank you very much, so we cannot afford to tolerate willful craziness. We dole out consequences to match the outrageousness of the behavior (usually missing out on something she wants to do). Does this parenting model work? Yes, Sara is making wonderful progress. And, almost all of the time she is included in all family endeavors. When I read her her bedtime stories, I quiz her afterwords to see how well she comprehended what we read, and her comprehension is excellent.
Nine-year-old Greg is going through a stage where he usually has a very hard time owning up to his behaviors. If confronted by Jon or Sara, he usually gets aggressive with them. If confronted by a parent, he often argues and denies culpability, thereby earning himself a closely supervised timeout, then a discussion led by a parent to assess the degree to which the timeout helped accomplish the goal of him accepting responsibility for his actions. Luckily, Colleen and I have always seen eye-to-eye on parenting issues, so they cannot play one of us against the other.
Both Jon and Greg, especially Jon, feel free to ask me questions on any subject. I try to give them clear, comprehensive answers. I am really enjoying them at their present ages.
Is parenting easy? No. Would I trade it for not parenting? No way!
1 comment:
Maybe you and Colleen can write a book on parenting. Seems to me it's needed. No one I know seems to know how to handle those children that act out. I know for sure my family doesn't, I still have a 50 something year old relative that does it.
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