Sunday, July 14, 2013

The power of powerless communication

Don't you hate it when it feels like a manager is trying to manipulate you, rather than engaging with you with a mix of empathy and competence? Susan Cain writes about the power of powerless communication, which are highlighted in this book she recommends:

Susan writes,

It boils down to this insight: When people think you’re trying to influence them, they put their guard up. But when they feel you’re trying to help them, or to muse your way to the right answer, or to be honest about your own imperfections, they open up to you. They hear what you have to say.

In small group decision making, suggestions prefaced with qualifiers like “This might be a good way to go” have been found to be accepted more often than forthright statements like “Let’s do it this way.”

And among salespeople, powerless communicators bring in 68% more revenue than “takers” – in large part because they ask more and better questions, and listen to the answers. Instead of coming on strong, they find out about the hopes and fears of their prospective buyers. They’re motivated not only by making the sale, but by satisfying those needs. Buyers feel the difference.

Here are some tips Susan gives if you would like to try to use the power of powerless communication:

1. Be humble but humorous.

2. Ask for help or advice

3. Pair your openness with competence.

4. When you communicate with someone, ask yourself three questions: What do you have to learn from them? How can you help them or otherwise express warmth? And can you find ways of letting your true personality show?

5. Frame your opinions as suggestions. “I wonder if it would work to do it this way.” Give people the space to disagree with you.

6. Be authentic.

7. Introverts and women, rejoice! This research is great news for two groups in particular: women and introverts, both of whom tend naturally to use powerless communication styles and worry that this is a bad thing in a take-charge world. Based on the evidence, you can stop worrying.

No comments: