She knows some words!

From the Babylon Bee:

U.S.—Senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren left a brutal 1-star review for Ancestry.com on a popular consumer review site, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Internet users noticed a particularly negative review of the site's DNA testing and family tree analysis services. They were then able to link the account, JefeWarren2020, to the presidential candidate's official email address.

"Site suggested I was only 1/1024th Native American, even though I have a lot of anecdotal family stories from my mama and my papa that suggest otherwise," she wrote in the bitter review. "Very bad services. I would not use them again."

"I even used my Native American heritage to get a leg up in life, and now some cheap website comes along and tells me it's all a lie? I don't think so, Buster!" the review continued. Warren then left a list of Native American words she knows as proof of her Indian heritage: teepee, maize, and buffalo.

"So as you can see, Ancestry.com is a huge scam!"

Not celebrating

So what happened to Elizabeth Warren?

What will Liawatha do?

In the Conservative Treehouse, Sundance expresses this opinion:

A most likely scenario for Liawatha is a non-endorsement of Sanders without an overt endorsement of Biden and the Big Club; simply because a non-endorsement of Sanders is a covert endorsement of Biden and her limo-liberal alliance.

Read more here.

President Trump tweeted:

Warren quits, but no endorsement today

From the Daily Mail: 'Not today': Elizabeth Warren refuses to endorse Biden OR Bernie after she quits presidential race - as Trump twists knife and says she has 'probably cost Bernie the nomination' by not stepping down before Super Tuesday. Read more here.

Accepting her banishment

From the Babylon Bee:

CHEROKEE NATION—Having dropped out of the presidential race, Elizabeth Warren rode in solitude back to her reservation, having failed to take the land back from the pale faces.

"I am sorry, my people. I have failed," she said somberly, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "The white man still holds our land, and the very trees cry out against them. May Great Spirit grant us another chance in 4 harvests." The Cherokee people looked confused, so she clarified: "That means years according to the Indian talk book I picked up."

The Cherokee expressed mixed emotions at seeing Warren return, from "Who are you?" to "How many times do we have to tell you that if you're not gonna play some slots at the casino, then you're gonna need to leave?"

Warren nodded, accepting her banishment from her once-great place among the Cherokee people. "I accept my punishment and vow never to return until the sun once again never sets on the Cherokee Nation. As I depart, let me simply ask you if you have ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins?"

"Wait, now you're just quoting Pocahontas," one tribal security guard said. "Alright, lady, let's go. The buffet is having crab legs tonight but other than that you're gonna have to scram."

At publishing time, Warren had sought advice from Grandmother Willow as to who it is that she should endorse.

Elizabeth Warren beats up on Mike Bloomberg

Video: Here's the moment that the Bloomberg campaign absolutely imploded on itself #DemDebate pic.twitter.com/6QT0xnNRN0

— Curtis Houck (@CurtisHouck) February 20, 2020

Warren comes out as a gay man

From the Babylon Bee:

WESTERVILLE, OH—After presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren was pressed on her plan to raise taxes on the middle class, Warren boldly answered the question by coming out as a gay man.

"I'm glad you asked," she said. "Actually, this question has encouraged me to address some other things about my life, and I'm now ready to come clean: I have loved and had romantic encounters with men throughout my life, and I choose now to live as a gay man."

Warren gestured to her opponent Pete Buttigieg and nodded. "Just like this man here, I am gay."

The audience stood and applauded her bravery. Not wanting to be outdone, Buttigieg quickly came out as a double-gay lesbian trapped in a man's body.

Yes!

They are going after those rich white people!

Net worth-

Nancy Pelosi: 100 million
Elizabeth Warren: 10 million
Joe Biden: 5 million
Bernie Sanders: 2.5 million

I love how the party that claims we need to go after rich white people is conveniently run by rich white people.

They think their voters are stupid!

— Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) May 25, 2019

Is it time for Biden and Warren?

At National Review John Fund thinks that because of the embarrassing revelations about Hillary's email scandals, many of the powers-that-be in the Democrat party are getting ready to replace Hillary with Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren as Biden's running mate. Biden would bring in the Obama loyalists, and Warren would appeal to the Sanders socialists. Read more here.

What if Biden runs with Warren?

American Glob opines that three things would happen quickly if Joe Biden announced that he running with Elizabeth Warren as his running mate:

1. Hillary Clinton is finished.
Progressive activists who make up the base of the Democratic Party will go nuts for this ticket. Hillary Clinton, who is already damaged goods, will lose tons of support.

2. Bernie who?
Bernie Sanders has been nothing more than a stand-in for Elizabeth Warren. If she’s in the running, 99 percent of the people who are flocking to Bernie Sanders rallies will drop him instantly and throw their support behind Warren. The Bernie Sanders campaign will become a speed bump in the road to 2016 overnight.

3. The media will have a collective orgasm.
If Biden and Warren run together, the media will revert to the cult-like coverage they gave to Obama in 2008. Biden’s gaffes will become endearing and folksy. Any mention of Warren’s lies about being a Native American will be declared racist and sexist.

You should read Professor Jacobson’s take on this at Legal Insurrection.