Patience

Parenting is not a matter of one-size-fits all. Each child is different, and parenting them requires parents to be sensitive to those differences, and to be mindful of their own mental health needs. These differences are even more pronounced when your family includes adopted children or stepchildren..

It may be one thing for a parent who has ADD to be empathic with her offspring who show some of the same symptoms. However, when children exhibit unique behavioral tendencies outside of the parents' own life experiences, that is when the challenge begins.

Take Sara as a case in point. We have noticed that when she is confronted about a misbehavior by a sibling or peer, she actually gets a smile on her face. She actually enjoys a good verbal fight. We are learning to be more patient, take more time explaining calmly and lovingly to her what she needs to do to correct the misbehavior. We have noticed that when we do this, asking her to repeat back to us what she understands us to be saying, she is more likely to listen and absorb whatever the lesson is we are trying to impart.

Later, perhaps in the bathtub or in her room playing with dolls, we hear her taking the role of parent, explaining things to the doll, who is the child. Sometimes we even hear her stop herself from provoking an argument with siblings, saying, "Let's have a happy life!" Colleen has had that "happy life" conversation with Sara many times, and when we hear her repeat it to siblings, we know she has heard what we have been trying to teach, and is actually implementing the concept!

Children sometimes choose to act out in some public place, and be seen by onlookers as rude, obnoxious, and undisciplined. The parent may feel embarrassed, or humiliated. Parents may become isolated, when what they really need is support from friends, spouses, extended family, or professionals. Nevertheless, parents who make the effort to go the extra mile with patience, love, and kindness are sowing seeds that may show up later when the child becomes a productive adult, and may have skills needed by society, or even needed by the older parents!