Holly at her DOGSNHORSES blog posts a link to a story about a teacher who asked her class of five-year-olds to vote on whether a boy should be allowed to stay in class or leave! The boy has been a discipline problem. So, the teacher ducks her responsibility and asks the children to solve the problem! (They voted overwhelmingly to kick him out of class).
I am wondering whether the parents have also ducked their responsibilities to discipline this child. If he is allowed to get away with bad behavior at home, it would be logical for him to think he can try it at school, too. Our four-year-old, Sara, could probably be diagnosed with all kinds of currently popular diagnoses like autism, Asbergers, ADHD, etc. Her birthmom had the whole DSM book thrown at her (meaning that she had many diagnoses, because nobody could figure out how to deal with her).
Nevertheless, Sara is our adopted daughter now, and we know that it is our responsibility to require her to behave. Our daughter Mau Mau would be given the diagnosis of developmentally disabled. Does that mean she should be allowed to get by with behaviors like hitting, kicking or non-stop screaming at the top of her ample lungs? No! Our eight-year-old, Jon, has not lived a day in his life without spilling something and making a mess. Does that mean we should just give up and not expect him to keep trying? No!
We love each and every one of our children. That is why we are not going to turn our heads when they misbehave. We are going to dole out consequences appropriate to the misbehavior. We are going to teach them how to be civilized little citizens. We are not going to leave it up to their schools or anyone else.
6 comments:
but we don't know if the bad behavior was addressed or not. We DO know that the school, and the parents were involved in planning out an IEP for Alex. That would be an Individualized Education Plan.....so they were at least thinking about how to address his issues.
"School and district officials have met with Barton and her son to create an individual education plan to address his difficulties, she said. Portillo attended these meetings, Barton said."
one more comment too.
Even if his behavior was not being addressed, it is NOT ok to isolate him, discriminate against him or "vote him out" of a class. That is both illegal and immoral.
It is also not her job to decide who gets to stay and who goes. The job of the teacher is to "teach".
Great post, Bob. I agree. Whether or not there is an official diagnosis, it doesn't change the fact that the child must learn somehow to get along in society. You can't give up just because "it's not their fault". If anything, you have to try harder. But it seems many parents would rather just medicate them and blame the rest of the world when they end up in trouble.
holly,
I agree completely with all of the things you have said. I also agree that we don't know much about what the parents have been doing.
I have chosen to focus on parental responsibilities. daddio seems to understand and express better what I have been trying to say.
Helen Keller comes to mind. Until Anne Sullivan she was excused any and all inappropriate behavior. Look what she accomplished when taught proper behavior
Like Holly said...no matter the problem with the kid, he should never have been singled out to let the other kids denigrate him.
I hope the school works with him in the future...and medication isn't the only option. I have a student who starts getting rambunctious and when called to task tells me, "I didn't have my medicine today."
He's told that is no excuse. He knows the proper behavior, and faces the consequences. Parents and students have to realize some kids have to work harder at behavior issues, just like some kids have to work harder in academics. That's life. It's called being responsible.
I don't think the cop will excuse me from a ticket for a 'lead foot'.
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