Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Domestic Violence

In my career as a child protection caseworker and county director of social services, I had many cases where domestic violence was occurring. In those cases, my clients were the children and also the adult who was the victim of domestic violence.

Recently I have found a wonderful blog entitled Walking On, in which a wonderful woman tells how she and her children escaped the abuser and made a life for themselves. I highly recommend this gritty woman's blog to my friends in the blogosphere!

And while we are on the subject, there is another blogger I want you to know about. Skywriter can write like nobody's business. She also escaped an abuser, but not before he beat her during her pregancy, causing her to lose her child. She is now a federal agent, and previously did a career as a pilot. You will enjoy both of these bloggers immensely, as they are both individuals of substance, who are living very worthwhile lives.

My own wife was the victim of domestic violence in her first marriage. He was convicted of false imprisonment. We have later learned that he taught his oldest son to touch his sister's private parts when he was seven and she was two. He is living underground to escape prosecution for his crimes against his own children.

Of course, abuse is not confined to the male species. Males can be victims of females as often as females are of males, in my experience. Certainly children are abused and/or neglected as often by their mothers as by their fathers. Sexual abuse of children is thought by our society only to be done by males. My experience, though, is that females perpetrate as often as males. You would never know it by visiting convicted sex offenders in prison. About 90 percent of them are males.

11 comments:

Rita Loca said...

More great blogs. I need more time to read them all.

Mimi said...

Domestic violence is a much larger problem that we like to admit isn't it?
It's one of those things that we sweep under the rug and pretend it doesn't happen to anyone we know...

Anonymous said...

Thank you. With my sincerest appreciation. And WOW, those facts are shocking and so sad.

shoprat said...

The first case of Domestic Violence that I was personally a witness to was the 250+ lb woman married to @110 lb man. He used to hide in our house shaking in terror while she stalked around with a club-like instrument calling his name. (This was @35 yrs ago)

Bob's Blog said...

jungle mom'
And yours is a definite must read!

mimi,
After I read your comment I added the paragraph about my wife. You had pointed out the obvious: it does hit very close to home for many of us.

cynthia,
Meeting people like you is one of the real pleasures of blogging.

shoprat,
Thank you for that example.

Bob's Blog said...

cynthis,
I have tried twice to comment on your latest posts about strength. Blogger is not allowing comments on your blog. Must be a conspiracy! They were fabulous posts.

Bob's Blog said...

sorry about that. I meant cynthia, not cynthis. I do hope people will read your posts and your entire blog.

Debbie said...

I've worked with "Skywriter" and volunteer with her. She overcame a lousy start in life and abuse to accomplish more in the last 20 years than some folks do their whole life. She's probably the wittiest, kindest and most "centered" person I know.

Bob's Blog said...

debbie,
That does not surprise me one bit. Thanks for stopping by.

Tanya Siekman said...

I lived 23 years in a marriage of terror until I walked away not knowing if I would live or die. Thankfully, I lived to tell it.

My older children as well lived through it ... we have our inner scars, but we're here, together and thankful that it's over.

I went on to remarry and now have triplets that will be three years old in a couple of weeks.

Domestice violence is everywhere. As a ICU nurse for years, I have seen the worst of the worse, and not all have lived to tell.

Telling my story cleansed me and hopefully if one person's life is changed by reading my words, it will have been worth the emotional pain it took to write it.

Tanya Siekman
(The Dairy Wife)
www.thesiekmantriplets.blogspot.com

Bob's Blog said...

tanya,
Thank you for stopping by, and especially for leaving such a thoughtful and informative post!