You can exploit the respect and concern for women you’ve always pretended to have to help you dodge responsibility for whatever you’ve already done!

Kurt Schlicter writes at Town Hall, some satirical dating advice for Democrats.

We’ve learned so much about what women face in the last few weeks, and you liberal men should take this as an opportunity to change – specifically, out of your flapping bathrobes and into some Dockers. Groping, flashing, molesting shrubs – believe it or not, some women consider these things to be wrong. Crazy? Sure, but for now it’s no more monkey business as usual. As a noted Democrat, you need to maintain your political viability, and you can exploit the respect and concern for women you’ve always pretended to have to help you dodge responsibility for whatever you’ve already done!

...Having needs is nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve taken on an awesome responsibility being a Democrat leader – you’re constantly struggling to hold up the burden imposed upon you by the support and acclaim of the D.C. establishment and the media. You have a right to extracurricular activities; why, liberal women will tell you themselves that the mere fact that you are quite willing to kill babies by the millions entitles you to all sorts of fringe benefits!

..Anyway, you will notice that one allegation inevitably leads to another, and then another. Turn this to your advantage by hinting that the sheer number of charges just means you’re a total player! When responding to the charges, make sure your statement doesn’t actually admit any wrongdoing. Instead, you’ll want to describe how you are “friendly” and “a hugger,” and how you are sorry these misguided women took offense by misinterpreting your innocent gestures of support for them in their struggle against patriarchy. Your message is that your accusers are all frosty nuts who can’t deal with a real man, or even a liberal one.

Yeah, the last couple months have been stressful for liberal men in positions of power, but just remember – these things blow over. You’re a Democrat. The rules were never meant to apply to you, and pretty soon your fellow liberals will come back to their senses. Until then, tie your bathrobe shut and keep your hands to yourself. Sure, you’ll have to temporarily deny the women of America the gift that is you, but it’s a sacrifice they should be honored to make.

Read more here.