Anderson Cooper: Does anyone have anything to say about Syria?
Hillary Clinton: I know all about Syria. I personally negotiated a ceasefire with Assad that ended the war. Because I get things done. I'm a progressive moderate who is consistently changing her views like any normal person who hides private email servers in a bathroom in the Fuhrerbunker.
Anderson Cooper: There's no ceasefire in Syria. The fighting is still going on.
Hillary Clinton: When I flew into the Damascus airport under fire, I remembered what my late mother told me...
Anderson Cooper: None of that ever happened
Hillary Clinton: I had already negotiated an end to the fighting in Israel, Ireland and Yugoslavia...
Jim Webb: No, you didn't.
Hillary Clinton: And so I said to Assad, cut it out. Stop killing all those people. Because that's what real leadership is. And I'm a real leader. As a woman...
Bernie Sanders: SHUT UP. Look, this is real simple. Assad is the 1 percent. We kill all the 1 percent and there will be WORLD PEACE. We kill the 1 percent in America and Syria and all over the world in some sort of...
Anderson Cooper: International worker's revolution?
Bernie Sanders: Exactly, for the middle class, which is the backbone of our country. Until we DEBONE them and put them in GULAGS.
Chafee: I support twice as many gulags as Senator Sanders. And make them twice as cold.
Martin O'Malley: Under my leadership, we actually made gulags in Maryland. I passed the Right to Gulag Act and we had overflowing gulags. Except we called them prisons and they were full of black people and green electricity.
Anderson Cooper: Alright, what the hell. Secretary Clinton, do you believe we should send the middle class to Gulags.
Hillary Clinton: Anderson, as a woman and a leader who is respected by donors around the world, I believe that we need to come together around solutions that work. Gulags for the middle class are just not realistic. I appreciate Bernie's passion for Gulags. I know he loves Gulags from my time working with him in the Senate. And I know many people think we need Gulags.
Anderson Cooper: Are you for or against sending the middle class to Gulags?
Hillary Clinton: It's not a simple issue. I believe we can get the same effective results as Gulags without the Gulags by raising tax rates for everyone whose last name isn't Clinton to 100 percent, abolishing the Constitution and forcing everyone to move to Madison, Wisconsin.
Anderson Cooper: The audience isn't applauding. It seems to want Gulags.
Hillary Clinton: As I've always said, I'm for Gulags, but we can't get the Gulags done without experienced leadership and no one has more experience with Gulags than I do. I've seen Gulags in North Korea and China and I believe we can do better. We don't just need Gulags, we need Smart Gulags. We need Gulags that will be role models for our children as they are raised by the Gulags.
Bernie Sanders: TALK, TALK, TALK. A Bernie Sanders administration isn't going to talk about sending political dissidents to GULAGS. It's ACTUALLY going to do it. Bernie Sanders will fight to Gulag everyone opposed to his policies. Bernie Sanders will Gulag Wall Street. Bernie Sanders will Gulag the Wall Street Journal. Bill Sanders will Gulag you, if you don't vote for him.
Anderson Cooper: Do you really think that sending everyone to Gulags is an electable platform?
Bernie Sanders: HELL YES. We just need millions of people coming together to Gulag everyone who doesn't want to give them free college, free pot and free Gulags. RIGHT NOW there are 100,000 community organizers at centers around the country drawing up lists of who to Gulag.
Anderson Cooper: Do you see any obstacles to this plan to put 50 percent of the country in arctic prison camps?
Bernie Sanders: Global Warming. If the ice melts, how are we going to keep them in the Gulags?
Excerpted from a piece by Daniel Greenfield in the Sultan Knish blog
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