A new calendar (to keep up with insanity)

Manhattan Infidel has an idea. Why not have 300 months of 6.5 days each?

This will allow all weak, helpless and oppressed minorities to have their own history month.

...All except the Cubans. As Republicans Cubans have betrayed their Hispanic heritage and joined the ranks of the oppressors. Cubans! No month for you!

...Note: Asians, like Cubans, are ineligible for their own month. They are good at math, get good grades at school and start their own businesses. All signs of being infected by the white man’s lust, greed and madness.

...Monday will be renamed “Barack Obama” and will officially become the new beginning of the week, as befits a god of his status.
Tuesday will be renamed “Bernie Sanders.” Note: As I write this I have no idea where the money will come from to rename Tuesday. But that’s just an annoying economic fact. We can safely ignore it.
Wednesday will be renamed Friday. This befits the glory of socialism as all comrades will now only have to work three days. Note: TGIF will be renamed TGIW.
Thursday will be renamed “Gender is a Bourgeois Construct Day.” During this day, the first day of the new four day weekend, people will be encouraged to cross dress.

...Saturday will be renamed “Kale.” Too many people choose to eat an unhealthy brunch on this day consisting of bacon and sausages. By renaming this day “Kale” we hope to shame our subjects into digestive subjection.

Read more here.