Saturday, June 21, 2014

How to formulate a sales pitch to Republican money men

Weird Dave over at Ace of Spades knows that getting the Republican fat cats to support candidates that might actually bring America back is difficult, but this is how he would articulate his sales pitch to them:
"I know you want Amnesty to cut your labor costs. Well, you can't have it. It's shortsighted, and we won't win dog catcher if we push it. But I'm going to give you something better. I'm going to cut your energy costs in half. Help us win the Senate in '14 and we'll start laying the groundwork. Give us the Presidency in '16 and we'll open the taps. We'll build Keystone so fast the oil won't be able to keep up. We'll drill so many natural gas wells you'll be able to walk across Colorado without touching dirt. We'll take all of the money being wasted on crony boondoggles like Solyndra and perfect Thorium reactors (they are 100% safe and damn close to reality), so that you'll be able to put an outlet on the outside of your buildings and charge people to fill their wheelbarrows with electricity. As your energy costs slide, your profits will grow, and even though that will likely mean wages will start to climb, a strong and vibrant working class will weaken even further those bloodsucking unions. You, that's right, YOU, will create so many jobs that your workers will come to you and demand Amnesty because there aren't enough people for the jobs available. We're going to start an energy boom the likes of which this world has never seen, and all of you with the foresight to embrace it will get richer than God.

And then we'll tell the Middle East to go pound sand, Lord knows they have enough of it."

I wish him luck. Read the rest here.

No comments: