"Snopes Recommends Shutting Down Internet To Prevent Spread Of Satire"

From the Babylon Bee:

U.S.—In a statement issued by Snopes' editorial board, the fact-checking website recommended that the entire internet be shut down so as to prevent the spread of potentially dangerous jokes.

The fact-checker has tried to control the spread of jokes and satire with simple notices that articles are false but is now saying that isn't enough.

Snopes published a recent study that showed that shutting the internet down would stop the spread of jokes, humor, and satire. It is not known how long the internet would need to be shut down, but the study suggested a minimum of several months would be required.

"Everyone must quarantine away from the internet so that 'humor' and 'jokes' and 'satire' don't continue to spread around the country," said a spokesperson. "Should the internet stay up, we'll continue to run the risk that someone might laugh at a joke or read a satirical article and not know that it isn't true. We can't sleep at night until we know that all humor is dead."

"It's the only way to be sure."

Some people warned that this might have negative side effects. Snopes has sent out the thought police to take these people into one of its state-of-the-art reeducation camps.