It's time for a new Apology Tour

Hat tip Peoples Cube, where we learn,

The former U.S. president. Barack Obama, has surprised reporters with the announcement that he will travel abroad on his Second Apology Tour. The purpose of the trip, said the former leader, is to "Make America Small Again," and more importantly, he added for emphasis, to make America's enemies feel better about themselves.

Mr. Obama said, "If North Korea chooses to build ICBMs on which they intend to fit Multiple Reentry Vehicles and attack their neighbors and the U.S., it's their business, not ours. I believe in choice, and it should be our choice to look the other way. Those are their missiles and their nukes, not ours. Think about it. Who are we to talk? After all, we have a few of these ourselves, even if they're half century-old rusted heaps of scrap metal that haven't worked in decades."
~
The former president said that the final straw in his decision to go on another apology tour was President Trump's speech at the United Nations that was entirely bereft of repeated apologies for the existence of the United States. As for Israel, Mr. Obama admitted that he did not take kindly to seeing a smiling Bibi Netanyahu in the room filled with important human beings.

"The most insulting prospect," offered Mr. Obama, "is the idea of American Exceptionalism that implied that the United States has a more important role on the world stage than North Korea." He insisted that such thinking is unfair and bigoted. "How do you think Kim Jong-Un feels?"

Glaring angrily at reporters who were shaking their heads, Mr. Obama said the North Korean leader and the entire world must resist the evil that is Trump, and he will support the resistance by promptly flying to Pyongyang to act as a human shield against American militaristic criminals. And then he will apologize from the capital of the unjustly-maligned state to everyone who is offended by America, by Japan, by prosperity, and a humanity that appreciates the tyrannical and racist idea they call "freedom."

Read more here.