Opening day schedule for the Democrat National Convention

Mis. Hum at Ace of Spades gives us the opening day schedule for the Democrat National Convention:

Democrat Convention Schedule
Monday, July 25, 2016
11:15 AM

Free lunch, medical marijuana, and
bus ride to the Convention
Forms distributed for Food Stamp enrollment.
1:30 PM

Group Voter Registration for Illegal Immigrants.
3:15 PM

Address on "Being the Real You"
Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the
Seattle NAACP and Caitlyn Jenner
4:30 PM

"How to Bank $200 Million as a Public
Servant and claim to be broke"
Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM

How to have a successful career without ever
having a job, and Still avoid paying taxes!
A Seminar moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
5:00 PM

Medal of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Bergdahl for serving with Honor and Distinction
National Security Advisor Susan Rice
5:30 PM

Invitation-only Autograph Session Souvenir photographs
of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia
6:30 PM

General vote on praising Baltimore rioters,
and on using the terminology "Alternative
Shoppers" instead of Looters"
7:30 PM

Breakout session with Bill Clinton for
women on avoiding the upcoming draft
8:30 PM

The White House "Semantics Committee" Meeting
General vote on re-branding "Muslim Terrorism"
As "Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance"
9:00 PM

"Liberal Bias in Media How we can make it work for you!
Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS,
The Washington Post and the New York Times
With Guest Speaker, Brian Williams
9:15 PM

Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom
Fighters Still incarcerated at GITMO
Michael Moore
9:45 PM

Personal Finance Seminar -
"Businesses Don't Create Jobs"
Special guest Pocahontas aka Elizabeth Warren
11:00 PM

Short film, "Setting Up Your Own Illegal
Email Server While Serving in a Cabinet
Post and How to Pretend It's No Big Deal"
Hosted by Hillary Clinton
11:30 PM

Official Nomination of Hillary
Bill Maher and Chris Matthews

Somebody spent a lot of premium time putting
this agenda together. Don't let it go to waste.

h/t The Internet