"Our security systems are to die for!"

From the Babylon Bee:

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Hillary Clinton has suggested that Americans vote for president via email, a controversial proposal that's nonetheless gaining some traction on the left.

Clinton released her proposal to have Americans send in their votes via email and even offered to run the server herself. She said her server could handle up to 30,000 emails per second, more than enough bandwidth to run the national election.

"I would be more than happy to provide a server that could handle all the email votes," Clinton said. "I'd guarantee no votes sent in by email would be lost. They'd be safe and secure. Our security systems are to die for."

Some people criticized the suggestion, saying that email is inherently insecure and that emails have a way of disappearing when they're inconvenient to Clinton's purposes. These people have not been heard from since.